a deep thought for the day

sorry in advance - I just couldn't resist! :)

 

Search the Scriptures Diligently - VTing handout

I absolutely loved the quote by President Ezra Taft Benson in this month's Visiting Teaching message. I wanted to be able to see it often and help prod me into a better scripture study habit. So I decided to type it.

Then I decided to make it pretty.

An hour later, I realized that if I was going to actually STUDY the SCRIPTURES before the boys got home from school, I'd better stop fooling around on the computer and DO IT! :)

Two hours later--now the boys are home and I DID study the scriptures and that feels so good.

I thought it might be nice to share my work. I'm not a real expert on prettifying (I usually leave that up to my talented friends!), but I hope someone out there likes this! Feel free to print it out if you'd like. :)

 

Scripture Quote ETB

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Essays & Theses Religion & Spiritual scriptures visiting teaching

 

Credit: I used parts of the Skylit kit from Carina Gardner's Peony Place

Day 21 - { heavenly conference weekend }

This weekend was heaven on earth for me.

To spend eight hours listening to gorgeous music and the powerful, uplifting words of the prophets while seated on the couch next to my Darling Cutie. . . .

And on a blanket in front of us, three of our sons enjoying MnM's and colored pencils and Conference packets. . . 

It really felt like we came out of the world for a couple of days.

Didn't it seem like a lot of the talks were about being "of good cheer" in the face of adversity?

Elder Scott's talk in particular struck me deeply.

In fact, I need to repent. I have shared a lot of negative emotion on this blog lately, and I am sorry!

Starting from the moment I felt the Spirit prompt me during Elder Scott's talk, I have resolved to stop complaining about this trial. Start focusing as much as possible on the eternal joy I have to look forward to.

The words of the prophets this weekend made eternity seem not so far away.

I know it doesn't mean I will suddenly stop feeling pain. In fact, I realized yesterday for the first time that I will surely go through loss again before this life is over. I will likely have to say goodbye to many of my loved ones before eternity arrives.

So I want to be like Elder Scott and not complain. I want to focus on the wonderful, living people around me that I love so much. I want to look toward eternity as something that will arrive sooner rather than later and live each day completely and as joyfully as I can.

{ Hummer is up from his Quiet Time now, and I need to end this post. }

Can't wait till the transcripts are posted on the Church's website so I can post some of my favorite one-liners!

Until then, I sing out my gratitude for this beautiful weekend. I feel so refreshed and strengthened!

I thank Thee, Heavenly Father!

Day 20 - { life with exacto, fluffy, and hummer }

note: this post has a soundtrack! Click play to hear it -- and don't turn up your speakers too loud. Unless you really like Mozart.

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

There are three wonderful young men in my life, who bring sunshine to me every day. Here's a post about some of those warm rays. :)

 

 

These guys are pretty unique. Have you ever met a household of boys that breaks out in song, singing MOZART? There's a CD we have that's just one of those cheesy Mozart collections, like "Mozart classics", or something like that. The first track is the overture to Le Nozze di Figaro and they LOVE it, especially Hummer. I'll be downstairs and suddenly hear it booming out from upstairs. Hummer says that the louder it is the more beautiful it is. He'll put the track on repeat and just sit there listening, saying reverently, "Beautiful. Beautiful."

(The only track they don't like is a soprano solo from one of the Masses. They always say, "Fast forward!" as soon as that operatic voice comes on. Rats. I was hoping they would be REALLY unusual and love opera. . . .of course, then they'd probably get beat up at school. :)

 

Last week was such a blast because Exacto and Fluffy were on Spring Break, and they had a whole week to be with Hummer and play as much as they wanted.

One of their favorite games lately is Train the Puppy. Not our resident puppy, though. Hummer is the trainer, and Exacto and Fluffy get on all fours, and the house reverberates with human barking and "NO! BAD DOG!" and "GOOD PUPPY! You did SUCH a good JOB!"

 

Mr. Hummer has recently signed his own personal declaration of independence. Complete independence at the age of 5 is a bit premature, of course, but he won't listen when I tell him that it's just not a good idea for him to drive the car. Or jump OUT of the car and run towards Target as soon as I turn off the engine. (Yikes!)

This little Don Juan, who still kisses the hands of people who are "sweet", now refuses to accept kisses! He wipes them off, screaming, "EW!" It has turned into a game. Instead of tickling him to tease him, I kiss him. He shrieks and runs away. I do it again. He shrieks and runs away. (Just doing my part to get him ready for kindergarten. Hey, it's important! :)

One thing that amazes me though, is that Hummer is reading the Book of Mormon independently! Isn't that incredible? Often, he'll choose that for his bedtime story. He's actually working his way through 2nd Nephi right now. Awesome.

 

Then there's my sweet Flufferoo.

He's is so tender-hearted, it just melts me. HE still loves kisses, thank goodness.

One of our special traditions when we visit Benjamin's grave is that no matter what, Fluffy runs to hold my hand as we walk. He is the one who usually stays with me while we visit (DC is usually still at church, Exacto waits in the car, and Hummer is half a mile away seeing how close he can get to the lake without falling in).

Fluffy is quite the musician already! He can play the note flashcards in less than a minute now. He's working toward his first piano recital, and has 6 songs memorized for it already.

I love going through his school papers every day, and counting up the 100%'s. (He gets a bean for each 100% paper :). He likes to draw cute little men with the 00's as eyes.

At PT conferences yesterday, his teacher praised him to the skies and made me blush by saying he was likely a genius. But then she said it's because she knows he's smart, but he's off in lala land half the time. She said--and I quote--, "Then I have to say, [Fluufffy]! Helloooo!"

Nice.

 

 

Exacto is . . . .

. . . .anti-photo-taking

Nana worked her magic and got some great pictures while they were visiting. Her secret? To give a special gift to all three boys, ON CONDITION that they promise to co-operate for pictures. Fluffy and Hummer don't mind pictures. But it took Exacto a while to decide to agree to this. And yes, he kept his promise. He's pretty awesome that way.

. . . .iPod-sharing

Remember that iPod nano he got for Christmas? I was a bit concerned at first that he would soon have those earbuds permanently in his ears, and we'd have to wrangle out some rules to keep things peaceful. I shouldn't have worried. This almost-11-year-old big brother lets BOTH his little brothers use his iPod almost every time they ask! He knows how much I would love to have one, and so he's suggested several times that I use it while he's at school.

He bought the sweetest little speakers for it, and at night when they were all in bed (and before the batteries on the speakers died), they would listen to stories he downloaded. He'd put it in the middle of H's and F's bedroom floor and turn it way up so they all can hear. He is so the big brother I wished for when I was growing up. :)

. . . .district-chess-tournament-going

Today was the day. My Exacto went to the district level in 3rd grade, too, but not 4th grade, and now, this was his last chance to do the tournament. Hummer and I went to watch. He took one out of the three games. Of course, he was a bit disappointed, but I was amazed at what a good sport he was.

And then there was an impromptu fourth game, which only lasted a few minutes. Look at Hummer's face, and you'll see why I say Exacto wins, hands down! :)

 

 

"Verily I say unto you my friends, fear not,

let your hearts be comforted;

yea, rejoice evermore,

and in everything give thanks."

Doctrine & Covenants 98:1

 

 

 

 

it takes three.

Spring Break was wonderful, and all too short. Our house always seems unbelievably empty after company leaves! Miss you, Mom and Dad! Miss you, Becky and Smoothie! Miss you, Jofus! We managed to work in trips to Petit Jean State Park, Museum of Discovery, Hendrix cafeteria (quite possibly my personal favorite! :), and spent time at home making way too many addicting cookies, and experimenting with Mom's Cricut and watching movies. In short, it was heaven.

I have several posts rolling around in my head right now, waiting to be written, but this is the one that wants to be written today. :)

 

My sweet friend Kara, who is undergoing severe challenges to her desire to be a mother, recently invited me to be part of this "common thread" and asked me to add the button to my sidebar with a  link to my story. She says on her blog "My Road to Motherhood":

If there is one thing I have learned from all of this, it is that I am not alone. My situation may be unique... but the outcome of infertility is not. The more I open my mouth and let others in, the more I realize just how many are struggling with infertility as well. I have found hope and peace, strength and courage from those with whom I share this one common thread. Having a network of friends that I can lean on for understanding or a listening ear has meant so much to me over the past few months. Often times it is with people with whom I have never even met or barely even know. That thread is what links each one of us together, and it is often times, what holds each one of us together through such a trial.

 

Yes, I know I'm not exactly infertile. I never dreamed I would be included in a group like this. The fact that Kara wants me to be is evidence of the pure love and spiritual strength she has. Instead of looking at me as someone who has had four babies and wouldn't understand, she sees me as someone who has lost a baby and has yet been unable to have another. We share the pain of an unfulfilled righteous desire.

It has been over 5 years since I brought a baby home from the hospital with me. I am starting to understand what it feels like to see time pass and other children grow and still have empty arms.

When I married my Darling Cutie I was 19 years old. I was completely committed to Heavenly Father's plan for me, and knew I was doing the right thing. Yet I had the naive worry that my main concern in childbearing would be that I could reasonably expect to have 15 children by the time I finally hit menopause! This was a matter of months of prayer for us, and the decisions we made are too personal to share.

I had Exacto at the tender age of 20. (Only last week, Hummer commented, "That's REALLY young for an a-DULT!" :). Both DC and I were still full-time students, and DC was planning on at least 5 more years of graduate school. We moved to Tallahassee when Exacto was 8 weeks old, and proceeded to be poor as church mice and happy as clams for the next six years. During that time Fluffy and Hummer joined our family.

All three were C-sections, much to my dismay. With the first two I had taken Bradley courses, hired a doula, tried so hard to do a pioneer-style birth, but my body didn't co-operate. Those are stories for another post. With the third, we just scheduled the "section."

A few months after having Hummer, we moved to Arkansas for DC's first real job, although he was still working on his dissertation. I was hit with my first case of real post-partum depression, and ended up needing medication for it.

So by then I thought I had figured out by now what my life's struggles were going to be:

a) I had to have C-sections (this seemed like a cruel joke to me for a long time, as I was one of the most needle-phobic people I knew)

b) we were always going to have money problems (first 8 years of marriage were student poverty, followed by an uncertain future with music as a profession)

c) we would likely always live far from family

d) I appeared to be pre-disposed to chemical / hormonal imbalance that required intervention

 

This seemed plenty hard enough to me. In fact, I had pretty much reconciled myself to all of the above, and was trudging my way through, thinking how well I was enduring to the end! :)

Solution to a) : faith and Priesthood blessings would get me through the scary deliveries.

Solution to b) : Oh, well. As long as we pay our tithing, we'll have what we need, and I'm okay with that.

Solution to c) : webcamming, frequent visits, frequent phonecalls, family blogs, etc. Sometimes I think we get along better because we don't live nearby and so we really, really enjoy the time we do get together! :)

Solution to d) : ahem, lexapro. (SO GRATEFUL that such a thing exists so that people with emotional illness can lead a normal life!)

 

Then came the events of 2007. ( To read the whole story of our sweet Benjamin and his short stay on earth, go here. )

My naiveté regarding childbearing was totally blown out of the water. I honestly had no idea that still today in our time of medical miracles, babies sometimes die. Even before they are born.

This is still so hard for me. I have a hard time reading stories of babies who received miraculous healings after prayer. I never even had the chance to pray for Benjamin--he was already gone. I even have a hard time reading about babies who lived a short time, then died. I would have given anything to see his eyes open even for a few minutes, anything to hold him in my arms with his spirit still intact.

And as 2008 dragged by, with my desperately wishing for a baby the entire time, and not receiving one, I started to realize that this is just one more part of life that we can't necessarily control. Sometimes babies die, and sometimes babies don't come.

As my mom has said to me several times, "It takes three." Or rather, "Three", since Heavenly Father is the third part of the equation.

I don't understand why He hasn't sent us another baby any more than I understand why He took Benjamin back. I don't understand why Dave and Kara--who could be the poster-children for the ideal parents and who would be so diligent raising a child in the gospel--haven't been able to have a baby. I find great inspiration in Nephi's words: "I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."

I know He loves me, and so even though I don't understand everything right now, I will continue to trust Him. Someday all will be well. I know it.

And I will continue to write my Gratitude posts. :)

Day 19 - { baby brother bookend }

 

I'm the oldest of 8 children. My youngest brother Jofus is still living at home (but not for much longer! sniff sniff). He was born 5 days before my 13th birthday. In fact, he ruined my birthday party by coming a month early. Mom had planned a surprise party for me, had made the invitations and all, but was diagnosed with toxemia and had to deliver right away.

Little Giuseppe may have flattened the birthday party plans, but I still thought he was the best birthday present ever! I loved my tiny new brother! I was like a 2nd mom to him, babysitting, changing diapers (he loves it when I bring that up); I even took notes on his growth and progress.

He has gotten only more adorable as he's grown up, of course. :)

And since we've been in AR, there's been a sort-of tradition that Mom and Dad and whichever children are still living at home come to visit us for Spring Break! WOOHOO! I can't wait till this Sunday, when they get here!

 

 

My Baby Brother is like me in a lot of ways--

born in December, musically inclined,

a little bit cranky in the mornings,

 

passionate about food,

 

and completely--perhaps unhealthily--obsessed with books.

Thus we have acquired the nickname of "The Bookends", being the first and the last in the family.

 

What truly amazed me is how my little brother handled Benjamin's death. He was here for the birth. This almost-17-year-old lovingly held him and cried. He brought us the Sacrament in the hospital the next day. He babysat his other nephews for literally hours so that Mom and Dad could help with funeral arrangements. After I came home from the hospital, he helped me up and down the stairs, offering his arm as if for a dance. :) He led the music for the funeral.

A couple of weeks later when I was crying to him that I wanted another baby boy right away, he said, "I want a niece this time. You've already had 4 boys!" Awesome.

Anyway, I hope he doesn't mind me sharing all this. I just want you all to know how wonderful he is. 

I'm grateful to be his big sister.

 

Two more days!

 

Pertussis Outbreak at Davis Elementary

This post is to satisfy a burning desire I have to exercise my freedom of speech a time when the local media is totally ignoring this story! I know that many of you may not be interested in a central AR local news story (or what SHOULD be a news story!) but I simply have to get this off my chest.

At an elementary school in our school district there have recently been multiple cases of pertussis. My friend Meghan says that the two kids that sit on either side of her son in class have it, as well as others at the school. Therefore the Arkansas Health Dept has mandated that ALL students at this elementary, immunized or not, take anitbiotics. They are not providing the antibiotics unless a family is financially incapable of providing them themselves.

I know that many worry about immunizations, and many even avoid them completely. That is fine with me, as long as they homeschool!

But for the state to ALLOW un-immunized children to attend public school tramples on my rights as a parent to keep my children safe!

I don't blame parents who don't immunize their kids--they are totally receiving the natural consequence in this case. I DO blame the state of Arkansas for this. Not only should they never have allowed these children to register in public school, they should now accept the blame and provide the antibiotics. The media should be covering this, so that more people are aware of it, and can insist that things change.

Our society seems to have developed this belief that you can and SHOULD be able to have whatever you want. This makes me crazy! We are so insistent on our rights that we don't care when they infringe on others'. Let's just leave it with "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"! Pertussis is a deadly disease. My children have a right to live! If pertussis hits my kids' school, there may just be a lawsuit in the works.

 

Thank you. I feel better now. I hope no one is offended by this! (But I don't regret posting it. :)

 

How I love living in a country where I can say these things freely!

~ regular, nice-Michelle post coming soon :) ~