Well, after spending 2 1/2 hours on that last post, I am realizing that I still have a ways to go with the simplifying thing. I loved a friend's comment on facebook where she mentioned a journal she's using --a 5-year journal with 6 lines per day. This friend happens to have also been my 5th grade teacher, and someone I consider a mentor of some of my formative years. I loved that feeling of being taught by her again. SIX LINES per DAY. She says she thinks about the "essence of the day". . . ."Little vignettes into the big things." wow.
Okay, so here's the six-line version (six lines in Windows Live Writer) for today and yesterday. (I don't know if I can manage any great writing here, but it'll be fun to try! :) And also a correction/clarification to my last post. . .
1/14/11
Attended awards assemblies at the elementary school for Fluffy and Hummer. During the first, I sat with the parents of kids who have been in classes with my boys since we moved here, and during the second, I sat with a sister from church whom I just officially met for the first time a few days ago. Watched some of the visibly well-to-do parents photograph their children and pondered whether a feudal system of sorts still exists today. :) The evening saw an unplanned visit from our neighbors. They are upset because the city voted to repair our street and our property, but to wait on theirs until their lawsuit is settled. I tried to gently suggest that perhaps they are choosing between getting it done promptly or getting it done eventually with some money to show for it. A very tricky conversation. I do hope they know I am not judging them--they did suffer more from the flooding.
1/15/11
Home all day with my favorite people in the world. More than a little irritable from yet another rough night, but trying hard not to show it. (Yes, I know it's my fault she still doesn't sleep! I'll stop complaining and merely let you all know when I have accomplished the emotional feat of accepting my life with no more babies.) Saturday jobs with amazingly little dawdling or complaining from the boys--woohoo! DC and I both spent some good time working on stuff for our callings. I am READY for tomorrow with my Sunbeams. I will NOT come home crying this time. (I hope.) Played Blokus with the boys (they helped me win :) and jumped on the trampoline with melting snow all around. They turned on "Planet Earth" while I was making dinner and it brought back sweet, clear memories of Rosebud a year ago, when they first watched it and we were all so euphoric to have her here with us.
Wow, that is hard but fun. And good for me. The perfectionist in me is trying to make me go back and rewrite, but I'm not going to this time!
And clarification to something I said the other day, that "problems are temporary because our God is not." I knew when I wrote that that there was a whole lot underneath why I feel that way that was not getting explained. Those words are too trite for what I was trying to express.
This life is only the "second act of a three-part play." We are not meant to stay here. The most important things--hopefully what we have treasured here--we will take with us when we die. And all of the perplexing, baffling, disturbing, heart-wrenching, agonizing, irritating moments that we experience in this life will have served their purpose and no longer trouble us. I have to remind myself of this whenever I find myself starting to despair at the bewildering problems and darknesses of this world--it is not forever. DC's Uncle Kent said something to us after Benjamin died that has helped me ever since: "One day all will be well with the Lord's covenant people." I couldn't always FEEL that, but it's true.
And if we let Him, He helps us have peace even now.
{ p.s. on a lighter note, enjoy the updated Quotables! :) } ---------------------------------->
