our first 15 years

Come, let's be a comfortable couple. . . .And if we should get deaf, or lame, or blind, or bed-ridden, how glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of, always to talk to and sit with! 

~Dickens, Nicholas Nickleby

 

Us then:

 

Us now:

 

This feels like quite a milestone to me. I am surprised by how clearly I remember the Me that decided to marry him, and how well I remember the excitement and also the trepidation about what it would all be like—the childbearing, getting through school, would he ever be able to get a job as a musician, etc. It took a lot of faith to decide to marry at age 19, especially with the ambition that I had as a musician myself; and it took even more faith to be willing to start our family, but it didn’t take any faith at all to choose Chris for my husband.

Even with my youth and naivete, I could easily see that he was worth a commitment for eternity. I had never met anyone before with such talent combined with such real humility. He is not only brilliant, he is funny, and he has no ego. He would do anything to help anyone – he loves literally every person he meets. When I became the blessed recipient of the focus of his love, I couldn’t believe my good luck. I remember telling my roommate: “I just can’t believe no one’s snapped him up before this!”

Our life together these first 15 years has been such an incredible time. Lots of ups (five children, a salaried job for a musician, a first house), some major downs (depression, stillbirth, financial woes) but through all of it he has been so constant. I haven’t always been the easiest to be around, and there are so many stresses in this crazy world. Always the adversary is doing his best to make mountains out of molehills in a relationship, but DC has been unfailingly loving and kind to me. I can’t believe how blessed I am.

I wish I could tell that Me of 15 years ago, “Yes, there will be hard things. But truly you have no idea of the depth of the love you will feel or the incredible joys you will experience.” And actually, Someone did tell me that. But now I can see for myself that it was true.

 

 

P.S. To celebrate we went on a short cruise to Mexico a few weeks ago. I hope to post pictures and non-gloating details soon. :) Also tonight we will have a German feast!

Goals Progress Report : a post to help you feel very good about yourself :)

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam

As Heroine Worshipper so tactfully pointed out in his comment on my post, um. . .<cough, cough> 5 months ago, the blogging thing hasn't been working out so good.

I love the story about Sis. Hinckley's personal scripture study project. She reported to her daughter: “I have a new project to read one chapter a day from each of the standard works. I’ve been on it four days and I’m only three days behind.”  Gosh, it helps to know I'm in good company. :)

But rest assured, I have not given up! Never, never, never!

 

I want to share with you just how progress on my goals has gone through this mad, wonderful year so far. You will leave my blog greatly encouraged, I hope.

(Plus, I spent a lot of time on that gorgeous graphic to the left, and darn it, I want it to get USED!)

What can I say? My charity never faileth. :)

 

 

~ Daily scripture study and prayer

This is perhaps the ONLY goal going well. And, oh crumb, I just realized I haven't done it yet today. . . arg.

 

~ Develop my romance with DC – ENJOY :)

Hmmmm. . . . things are going better than a year ago. It is awesome to have Exacto old enough to babysit--we've started going on REAL dates again! Still plenty of room for improvement. DC has a funny quote: "We interrupt this marriage for the raising of children." It's not THAT bad, but I think we are at the peak of our family's parenting demands right now. Any suggestions for how to stay close when you're both up to your eyeballs in real life?

 

~ Consistency in time with Exacto, Fluffy, and Hummer – ENJOY

Super Kid dates, piano lessons, one-on-one time after school (stations), reading books together, paydays, etc.

Doing pretty well here, too. My friend Suzanne asked about how we do the "stations." After school is normally insanity here. If any of you have more than one child in school you know exactly what I'm talking about. Why is life such that dinner must be made at the same time as a toddler's natural fussiness which is also the same time that one must go through reams of paper daily, signing, deciding where to put, checking calendar, etc. etc. plus deal with homework, practicing, etc.? It is the bewitching hour. ('Cuz I get be-witched! Get it? :)

Anyway, we have a little system that has helped. It's a little OCD, but the boys seem to enjoy it, and I definitely do. They rotate through stations, and we set the timer for 10 minutes per station.

Station 1 = chocolate milk and rest (IF you finished your chores before school)

Station 2 = show Mom your papers and tell her about your day (this is awesome because it's one-on-one and I can really look at what they've been doing)

Station 3 = play with Rosebud (this is the most brilliant part - fun for both of them and frees my attention)

Any homework needs to be done before or after this time. Practicing starts at 4:30pm, and finishing that is your ticket to dinner. (We follow Suzuki's credo that you don't need to practice everyday, just on the days you eat).

~ Spend some time “with” Benjamin once a week, either visiting his grave or working on one of his scrapbooks

Ouch. Ever since our church meetings switched to 9-12, we are STARVING after church and Rosebud is near exhaustion, so the cemetery tradition has fallen by the wayside. I do try to head back out there in the afternoon while she's asleep. No scrapbook progress. Zero. It feels okay, though. I'm not worrying about it, just a little wistful.

~ ENJOY Rosebud – Help her get on a sleep/daytime routine. Start reading to her and singing to her regularly.

Woohoo! I am happy to report that after a ludicrous amount of time (months, literally!) studying and preparing using Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide book, I implemented the system in March, and it worked like magic. I could kiss Sheyne Rowley, and I fully intend to if I ever meet her. Rosebud went from 5-6 wakings per night and sometimes no more than 20 minutes of napping for a whole day, to 12 hours solid sleep at night, and a nearly 3-hour nap like clockwork every single day. The reading and the singing are part of the routine now.

I plan to do a whole post on this (don't snort! I will! You just see!). The book changed my life, changed my parenting for the better--I wish I could have read it when Exacto was a babe.

~ Consistent exercise program / Reduce waist measurement by 8”

I have a specific plan for this (complete with rewards!) that I will share soon. . . .

Oh my goodness. I am ashamed and humiliated to admit publicly that this goal happened for all of about 2 weeks. And the worst part is that my "specific plan" included built-in fancy rewards every 4 months. Like flying to UT for the Carl Bloch exhibit and a couple of family events. I was to hold myself STRICTLY to 90% success rate, or no go. And guess what?

I went anyway. Naughty spanky me.

Is it even possible to take off 8" by the end of the year now. . . .?

It really is necessary to make progress on this. Heart trouble and high blood pressure are knocking at my door, due to some strong genetics, and my waist just keeps increasing!

~ Personal history / writing / blog

Write daily in journal, write weekly family letters

Come up with blog routine that I am happy with and can maintain

Journal and family letters, yes. Blog routine, nein. Much to my sorrow! To my credit, the sleep thing with Rosebud cleared up in March, but only a few days after that, I pulled Hummer out of public school to homeschool. Any regular time to myself that I had just gained went out the window immediately. It was wonderful and worth it. Just not good for any serious writing.

~ House – Declutter, Organize, Decorate as if to sell

One area per month – have notebook, make wish list, use budget

Jan: Downstairs closets,½ bath ~

Feb: Rosebud’s rm, closet ~

Mar: Boys’ rm, closet ~

Apr: Master br, bath, closet ~

May: Living rm ~

June: vacation :) ~

etc.

Oh, this one is classic. Want to know which month's project I'm on? Yep, January! Aren't you wishing you had joined me in my motivational house project schedule?

And yet, I am undaunted! Onward and upward!

Just for fun, though, I hope to show you soon the progress on January's. (I'm ridiculously proud of my little powder room makeover:). Almost done, having worked on it sporadically for the past 6 months. . . stay tuned!

 

 

 

Rosebud, 18 months old last week

{ ta-dah! } two letters pertaining to this here blog

Dear "Mama's Boys",

You have been a good blog, and I will miss you.

I will even keep your URL (although to be strictly honest, that is less out of sentimentality and more out of sheer terror that I will lose the posts if I try to mess with it :).

Farewell, sweet blog! Perhaps we will meet again, in the strange cached copy world of Google.

Until then I am yours truly,

etc.

 

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Dear DC,

Today is your birthday again! I won't embarrass you by publicly announcing your age (cough cough), but I want you to know--as sort of a funny birthday gift--that this new blog is dedicated to you. I thought for a long time about what it should be called. I came up with all kinds of fun ideas revolving around the theme of 4 boys and 1 girl. And those 4 boys and 1 girl are very, very important to me. But I realized that one day, they will be grown up and gone, and I will look across the table and see only you. Along with that I remembered that it was because of you that all of this wonderful, crazy life had begun.

You are the quiet backbone of our family. You have been the constant strength through the years. Some who know you have said you are one of the most Christ-like people they know, and I agree whole-heartedly. (Take this as a huge compliment that you deserve, because I think I know you better than anyone else in the world!) Yet, you often seem to be in the background. You are always providing and helping and sustaining during this time of heavy needs. By necessity my arms are busy and full with our young children, but I want to remember that sometimes those arms need to be around you, too, even now. :)

Thank you for being the most amazingly selfless person I know. You continually put my comfort and needs first. I'm pretty sure I don't deserve you, but I will spend the rest of my life trying to. Happy Birthday, Cute One!

Love, M

 

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Okay, everyone! Put your hands together and give "The Fiddler's Wife" a warm bloggy welcome! Yay!

It's not much to look at yet! I'll be tweaking it for awhile. But look for some catch-up posts and some keep-up posts, coming very soon.

Day 24 - { twelve years of real-life romance }

Of all the blessings I am grateful for, this is perhaps the greatest. How can I ever be sad or complain, when I am sealed eternally to my beloved and our children? No matter what happens in this life, as long as we are faithful, our bond is permanent and unbreakable.

As my grandpa wrote in his journal -- soon after being sealed in the Mesa Temple to his beloved just before deployment to active duty in World War II -- "Now I have something that can never be taken away."

I love you, Darling. Many, many happy returns!