The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.

~Mark Twain

Hi, again!

I’m back to share with you my New Year’s goal. That’s goaL, singular. :)

 

Last year I crashed and burned on my list that seemed so reachable during the first week of January, when DC was home and on vacation! It was a great list!

It was just impossible for someone with my life and my abilities. But by golly, I learned from the experience of trying. Shucks.

 

Around the beginning of last November I noticed something about my appearance that gave me the inspiration for this year’s goaL. It was truly alarming to me. (no, not my weight, although like everyone else in this country, I do plan to do something about that! :)

 

 

 

(this is an old picture – the problem I am facing is even worse now – it shows up without the scowl)

 

Do you see what I’m talking about?

 

 

Here, let me zoom in. . . . .

 

 

 

 

OY!

Those mad-mom wrinkles are getting WAY too deep. When I noticed that I can see them easily even when I’m not frowning, I realized that it was very likely because I had been becoming a pretty negative-minded person over the past few months.

With the rapidity of a life-flashing-before-your-eyes moment, I could see that I was starting to be more critical in my thoughts, less grateful, quicker to get annoyed, more likely to believe the worst, etc. When I was a teenager or in my 20s that was not a big deal to my face. But now that I am a matronly 34, I am seeing that if I want those sweet smiley crow’s feet I admire on my parents and parents-in-law, I’m going to need to start putting them there!

And thus was my 2012 Goal born:

To have more smiley wrinkles and fewer frowny ones.

 

I like this goal because it’s a Becoming one, rather than a Doing one. Hopefully I have enough good habits that the most important Doing goals will keep getting done while I focus on Becoming the person I want to be when I’m 80.

Positive thoughts. Grateful ones. Kind and generous ones. Slower to get annoyed and quicker to laugh. More likely to believe the best. That’s where I’m headed this year! Oh, yeah!

 

 

So far, I am finding many things to smile about. Most especially, this beautiful event 16 days ago. . . .

 

Meet one of the newest members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Oh, how I love that sweet boy!

the pit and the pendulum

Down -- steadily down it crept. I took a frenzied pleasure in contrasting its downward with its lateral velocity.

To the right -- to the left -- far and wide -- with the shriek of a damned spirit; to my heart with the stealthy pace of the tiger!

I alternately laughed and howled as the one or the other idea grew predominant.

~Edgar Allen Poe

I am so silly! I felt all lame about my last post because all week there were zero comments, and I figured well, it had just been so long since I wrote that obviously no one was reading my blog anymore. Then today I logged in to add something to my sidebar, and saw all your comments waiting for moderation! Thank you so much! (I've turned off the moderation now. :)

I have thought and thought about the things you said, and am so grateful for the wisdom you shared. I feel better about how I'm doing. I think you're right--I do still have the most important things in the right place in my life.

You know, last year my only real goal was to enjoy my life, especially my children and my last baby during her year of babyhood. I wrote about that, as you may recall. :) I achieved that goal brilliantly--it was truly one of the best years of my life.

Unfortunately, while it is very rewarding as a mother to simply enjoy your children, it is not very good for your house. My house was *not* tidy! I started to get embarrassed at having to apologize when people came over for the same messes that were there the LAST time they had come over. I began to mull over the fact that I am raising future homeowners and parents and wonder how they will remember my homemaking skills. And, as I tripped for the umpteenth time over the pile of framed pictures waiting to be put back on the walls of the boys' room--a pile that has sat in our hallway for a year and three months now!--I made a solemn vow that my children, and especially my daughter, would certainly NOT remember their mother as such a slovenly housekeeper, even if it meant less enjoyment of my time with them!

It is a challenge to raise 3 boys and 1 girl in a 3-bedroom house of less than 1400 sq ft. Sometimes I start to bemoan my fate, then of course, I try to repent for being ungrateful. I am so inspired by my mom's parents, my Grandma and Grandpa McCleve, who raised their ten children in a 2-bedroom house with ONE bathroom. And not only lived to tell about it, but have an amazing, faithful set of posterity to show for it! I am so spoiled with my 2.5 bathrooms, etc. So yes, I know I can do it, if they could do it with less.

Our whole philosophy with the house when we bought it was to live in it for a few years (we took an adjustable-rate mortgage), then move to a bigger one. We figured that probably DC would have a new/better job by then and we would have to sell anyway. Seven years and a major recession later, we are definitely rethinking. The good news is that the adjusting rate has actually reduced our mortgage payments! (Score!) But now what do we do? The market is great for refinancing with a fixed rate, but we really feel like we are splitting at the seams. Refinance or buy bigger?

So I guess the reason I explain all that is because it shows why I am trying to glorify our house. :) We figured that if we stayed, it sure needed to be decluttered and reorganized so that we don't have to sleep on our stuff (it sounds ridiculous, but I can't help but think that's the way we're headed!). And if we sold we'd need to declutter and reorganize and decorate. I figure, if we're going to spend money on decorating to sell a house, by golly I want to enjoy it, too, not just the people buying it!

Hence the very ambitious house goal.

I have a friend whose house is always amazingly clean and beautiful and well-kept. She seems very balanced, and finds time for husband, children, calling, hobbies, staying in shape, etc. I guess I just thought I could reach for that myself. But it's not me, apparently! I think people like that require less sleep than I do. Of course there are always hidden struggles, too, for people who seem to have it all together. (I know if I ever *did* get it all together, my struggle would then be to remain humble! ha!)

So how to avoid the pit of failed goals when the pendulum starts swinging back? How do I balance enjoying the precious time with my family with taking care of their needs and having a "house of order"? I will let you know when I figure that out!

Meanwhile, instead of trying to finish that list of house projects by the end of the year, I am feeling like it would be better to keep it as a next-step list. I'll try allotting some time every day to it (at least during the summer) and just do the tortoise thing.

And regarding the waist measurement goal, I think you're right. It's too much to do 8". Maybe just to see some progress in the right direction (decreasing instead of ballooning!). Anyone have an abs routine they're in love with?

Thanks for listening. Some real catch-up posts are up next on the menu. . . .

Goals Progress Report : a post to help you feel very good about yourself :)

Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam

As Heroine Worshipper so tactfully pointed out in his comment on my post, um. . .<cough, cough> 5 months ago, the blogging thing hasn't been working out so good.

I love the story about Sis. Hinckley's personal scripture study project. She reported to her daughter: “I have a new project to read one chapter a day from each of the standard works. I’ve been on it four days and I’m only three days behind.”  Gosh, it helps to know I'm in good company. :)

But rest assured, I have not given up! Never, never, never!

 

I want to share with you just how progress on my goals has gone through this mad, wonderful year so far. You will leave my blog greatly encouraged, I hope.

(Plus, I spent a lot of time on that gorgeous graphic to the left, and darn it, I want it to get USED!)

What can I say? My charity never faileth. :)

 

 

~ Daily scripture study and prayer

This is perhaps the ONLY goal going well. And, oh crumb, I just realized I haven't done it yet today. . . arg.

 

~ Develop my romance with DC – ENJOY :)

Hmmmm. . . . things are going better than a year ago. It is awesome to have Exacto old enough to babysit--we've started going on REAL dates again! Still plenty of room for improvement. DC has a funny quote: "We interrupt this marriage for the raising of children." It's not THAT bad, but I think we are at the peak of our family's parenting demands right now. Any suggestions for how to stay close when you're both up to your eyeballs in real life?

 

~ Consistency in time with Exacto, Fluffy, and Hummer – ENJOY

Super Kid dates, piano lessons, one-on-one time after school (stations), reading books together, paydays, etc.

Doing pretty well here, too. My friend Suzanne asked about how we do the "stations." After school is normally insanity here. If any of you have more than one child in school you know exactly what I'm talking about. Why is life such that dinner must be made at the same time as a toddler's natural fussiness which is also the same time that one must go through reams of paper daily, signing, deciding where to put, checking calendar, etc. etc. plus deal with homework, practicing, etc.? It is the bewitching hour. ('Cuz I get be-witched! Get it? :)

Anyway, we have a little system that has helped. It's a little OCD, but the boys seem to enjoy it, and I definitely do. They rotate through stations, and we set the timer for 10 minutes per station.

Station 1 = chocolate milk and rest (IF you finished your chores before school)

Station 2 = show Mom your papers and tell her about your day (this is awesome because it's one-on-one and I can really look at what they've been doing)

Station 3 = play with Rosebud (this is the most brilliant part - fun for both of them and frees my attention)

Any homework needs to be done before or after this time. Practicing starts at 4:30pm, and finishing that is your ticket to dinner. (We follow Suzuki's credo that you don't need to practice everyday, just on the days you eat).

~ Spend some time “with” Benjamin once a week, either visiting his grave or working on one of his scrapbooks

Ouch. Ever since our church meetings switched to 9-12, we are STARVING after church and Rosebud is near exhaustion, so the cemetery tradition has fallen by the wayside. I do try to head back out there in the afternoon while she's asleep. No scrapbook progress. Zero. It feels okay, though. I'm not worrying about it, just a little wistful.

~ ENJOY Rosebud – Help her get on a sleep/daytime routine. Start reading to her and singing to her regularly.

Woohoo! I am happy to report that after a ludicrous amount of time (months, literally!) studying and preparing using Sheyne Rowley's Dream Baby Guide book, I implemented the system in March, and it worked like magic. I could kiss Sheyne Rowley, and I fully intend to if I ever meet her. Rosebud went from 5-6 wakings per night and sometimes no more than 20 minutes of napping for a whole day, to 12 hours solid sleep at night, and a nearly 3-hour nap like clockwork every single day. The reading and the singing are part of the routine now.

I plan to do a whole post on this (don't snort! I will! You just see!). The book changed my life, changed my parenting for the better--I wish I could have read it when Exacto was a babe.

~ Consistent exercise program / Reduce waist measurement by 8”

I have a specific plan for this (complete with rewards!) that I will share soon. . . .

Oh my goodness. I am ashamed and humiliated to admit publicly that this goal happened for all of about 2 weeks. And the worst part is that my "specific plan" included built-in fancy rewards every 4 months. Like flying to UT for the Carl Bloch exhibit and a couple of family events. I was to hold myself STRICTLY to 90% success rate, or no go. And guess what?

I went anyway. Naughty spanky me.

Is it even possible to take off 8" by the end of the year now. . . .?

It really is necessary to make progress on this. Heart trouble and high blood pressure are knocking at my door, due to some strong genetics, and my waist just keeps increasing!

~ Personal history / writing / blog

Write daily in journal, write weekly family letters

Come up with blog routine that I am happy with and can maintain

Journal and family letters, yes. Blog routine, nein. Much to my sorrow! To my credit, the sleep thing with Rosebud cleared up in March, but only a few days after that, I pulled Hummer out of public school to homeschool. Any regular time to myself that I had just gained went out the window immediately. It was wonderful and worth it. Just not good for any serious writing.

~ House – Declutter, Organize, Decorate as if to sell

One area per month – have notebook, make wish list, use budget

Jan: Downstairs closets,½ bath ~

Feb: Rosebud’s rm, closet ~

Mar: Boys’ rm, closet ~

Apr: Master br, bath, closet ~

May: Living rm ~

June: vacation :) ~

etc.

Oh, this one is classic. Want to know which month's project I'm on? Yep, January! Aren't you wishing you had joined me in my motivational house project schedule?

And yet, I am undaunted! Onward and upward!

Just for fun, though, I hope to show you soon the progress on January's. (I'm ridiculously proud of my little powder room makeover:). Almost done, having worked on it sporadically for the past 6 months. . . stay tuned!

 

 

 

Rosebud, 18 months old last week

improvement and progression

Leaping higher, higher, higher,

With a desperate desire,

And a resolute endeavor

Now—now to sit, or never,

By the side of the pale-faced moon.

~Edgar Allen Poe

 

I just want to share my goals with y'all real quick. I'm hoping to "report" on them regularly (especially the ones in bold), so that I have some accountability. . . .

~ Daily scripture study and prayer

~ Develop my romance with DC – ENJOY :)

~ Consistency in time with Exacto, Fluffy, and Hummer – ENJOY

Super Kid dates, piano lesson, one-on-one time after school (stations), reading books together, paydays, etc.

~ Spend some time “with” Benjamin once a week, either visiting his grave or working on one of his scrapbooks

~ ENJOY Rosebud – Help her get on a sleep/daytime routine. Start reading to her and singing to her regularly.

~ Consistent exercise program / Reduce waist measurement by 8”

I have a specific plan for this (complete with rewards!) that I will share soon. . . .

~ Personal history / writing / blog

Write daily in journal, write weekly family letters

Come up with blog routine that I am happy with and can maintain

~ House – Declutter, Organize, Decorate as if to sell

One area per month – have notebook, make wish list, use budget

Jan: Downstairs closets,½ bath ~

Feb: Rosebud’s rm, closet ~

Mar: Boys’ rm, closet ~

Apr: Master br, bath, closet ~

May: Living rm ~

June: vacation :) ~

July: kitchen ~

Aug: dining rm, laundry closet ~

Sep: Garage ~

Oct: Boys’ bath ~

Nov: stairway, upstairs hall ~

Dec: Enjoy Christmas! :)

Anyone want to join with me on the house goal? I'll encourage you if you encourage me! :)

2010: the year to ENJOY

 

At first I thought I would apologetically introduce this post as being late. It is well into April already, after all. But then I realized that the reason I haven't written this post sooner is because I've been doing (most of the time) exactly what I'm going to write about! { pat on the back :) }

This year, 2010, is my year to ENJOY.

It is the year of Rosebud's babyhood.

It is the last year I will have all pre-teenagers.

And, really, each year of a child's life is so precious. Babyhood is particularly amazing because of the stunning amount of growth in such a short time that babies experience, but truly, I love every single year of childhood. My mom says there is something to love about every phase, and she's right, of course.

 

So, it is the year to enjoy Hummer as a 6-year-old, with teeth falling out and coming in all over the place, and with almost everything that he says making me laugh.

 

It is the year to enjoy Fluffy as an 8- and 9-year-old, outgrowing clothes faster than I can keep up with, and becoming newly aware of the world around him.

 

It is the year to enjoy Exacto as an 11- and 12-year-old, seeing him ordained to the Aaronic Priesthood and being able to laugh with him and have deep conversations with him.

 

And it is the year for DC and I to watch in awe and delight as our daughter learns and grows at an almost visible rate.

I am really glad to have chosen this as my "theme" for the year. Already I have caught myself several times slipping into the getting-stuff-done mode, or wishing-away-a-phase mode. But then I remember how fleeting this time is. That when 2011 rolls around things will be different. I just want to bottle up this time and be able to look at it and taste it and ENJOY it always.

 

Unfortunately (or fortunately) the nature of mortality is that years pass, and that somehow we have to learn to find joy in the present time without longing for what came before or wishing for what is ahead.

I think that that is part of Benjamin's gift to me. To see the intrinsic value of each moment of our life and savor it. To accept that time flows on, and things change, and that the things we rejoice in most are the things that will last beyond the limits of time. I love knowing that after this life, I will have one more baby to enjoy through all the phases of growing up!

 

And for now, I will hold Rosebud as much as I can, and hug those boys as much as they will let me, and tickle and listen to jokes and go for walks and jump on the trampoline and read stories and just . . .

. . . .ENJOY!

Day 40 - { time }

 

Today as I returned to the work of scrapbooking Benjamin's time with us, I sighed. Sighed because it is work for me. Scrapbooking is an unnatural activity in my book. I've never felt talented at making things LOOK nice; my gifts tend toward making things SOUND nice. :)

So, while I know there are millions out there who just love scrapbooking and find it relaxing and fun, I am not one of them. Each page has been challenging for me technically.

I also sighed because documenting those last few weeks of pregnancy is really tough emotionally. Looking through the pictures and reading my journal entries or emails from that time often triggers deep pain over some specific memory that hadn't been expressed yet. But it's worth it! With each page I complete, I feel a sense of healing and release. I love that Benjamin's brothers will be able to remember him better through this. I love that I will be able to share more easily what he means to me.

I still have the goal of finishing by his birthday! (I can think of several of my friends who NEVER would have taken two years to finish this project. :) I'm going to have to buckle down--today I finally started his last two weeks, but I know the pages of his actual birth day are going to take a lot of time.

So today, I am grateful for TIME. Time to really do this.

I can't think of any other season in my life that has been like this. Since childhood I've always been the type to pack in as much as possible and then go crazy trying to get it done: making my own schedules for summer time, doing way too much extra-curricular stuff, graduating early from high school, heck, getting married early!, being in school and being a mom at the same time, etc. etc. This luxury is totally foreign to me. . . but so needed right now.

I am so grateful for the breathtaking gift of uninterrupted hours to think through what happened those last couple of weeks in October 2007, and to stop and write and cry if I need to.

Grateful for the elapsed time that it has taken to heal and to be able to process difficult memories.

And especially, for the serenity of this time to connect with my sweet son - to talk to him and think about what he is doing - to remember things that we did together.

I miss you, Benjamin.

 

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

We had new family pictures taken yesterday. . . . here's a sneak preview. I'll be sharing more soon! :)

New Leaf, day 6

Can I just say that ya'll are awesome? Your sweet comments have helped me SO MUCH!!! This morning I woke up feeling very unmotivated and "tired" and my first thought was, "Today's going to be a computer/blah day."

But then I remembered this New Leaf giveaway and my goal to finish conquering the Paper by Friday and I knew that I needed to get my toosh in gear. I couldn't stand the thought of having to report a wasted day.

So I spent AN HOUR AND A HALF today (to make up for Friday), and made it through this. . . . .

(Lest you think we live in complete squalor, that is NOT the floor in my house. We keep the file cabinet in the garage. I know it's a bit unorthodox, but it's better than having it in the living room, where it was before! :)

Now instead of being crammed so tight nothing else will fit, it is only about 2/5ths full!! YIPPEE!!! Now there will be room for what is currently stacked in the dining room and in the downstairs hall closet.

Only 4 days to go. . . .Thank you so much for every single little word of encouragement!

 

Bonus: A collection of paper-organizing tips :)

Here are some of the great tips that were left in the comments last week. I love these!!!

Amanda T - You do this! Have you heard of flylady? I have incorporated some of her ideas into our home with success.

I LOVE FlyLady! I use a lot of her ideas, including the morning and after-dinner routines and the zones. I think she is brilliant and such a generous person.

Mary D - I am very proud of you! Take it 15 minutes at a time and you will be amazed at your progress. For 15 minutes you work hard and then take a break, it really does help keep you motivated.

Becky Rose - Have you heard of Houseoforder.com She's LDS and has great systems and books on how to get organized. She'll even send you weekly news letters via Email. You Can do it!

I had never heard of this! Sounds great!

Stephanie Johnson - One thing I've done is create a notebook for each kid for each grade. I have tabs like: Report Cards, Artwork, Class Info, About Me, etc. Whatever artwork doesn't have a foot or handprint or something sentimental, then I take a digital picture of it, file it on the computer under their school year, and then throw the artwork away. Hopefully that's a way you can "declutter". Good luck! :)

This is nifty! I will probably use this later this week, when I attempt to condense papers from all the boys into their individual totes. It is torture for me to throw away paper that is in the least bit sentimental, so I love the idea of digitizing some of it!

Amy Kay - . . . . And yes piles of paper...hate them, and need to get them organized too. I am going to strive to work with you on this. And YES MUSIC is wonderful. Good luck! Love and Hugs, Amy.

Chris (he has to be blue :) - Hey, maybe we could go through papers for a date some time. We could have a big bon-fire with the trash and roast marshmallows for a treat!

awesome :)

llamitanan - I like Stephanie's idea of having a folder on the computer for your children's papers. It would be fun to put the best ones in one folder and have that as your digital scrapbook for your children to watch. They would LOVE seeing their favorites going across the screen. Just take a picture of them with your camera.

Amanda T - I don't know if the idea works for you or not, but I once read a suggestion to take good photos of the artwork your children create and then only save a FEW pieces. You have the photos to preserve the memory, but make room for new pieces and more prominent displays.

llamitanan - Good job, Michelle! I remember Daryl Hoole suggesting filing ten papers a night back before computer days. A few bites a day consumes the huge elephant. :)

Malauna - I do hope that your fair city has a paper recycling program and instead of putting the paper in the garbage it is going in the recycle bin ;) However, if it doesn't, throwing away is better than piling up!

It doesn't--can you believe it? We have had the biggest hassles when we've tried to find ways to recycle our phone books! Hopefully it decomposes quickly. . . .

Andre - I like cleaning the girls room and going through their papers when they are at school. It's easier when they have no idea that I threw anything away. I just went through Savannah's papers from last school year, too. They had been residing in her closet. Most went in the garbage, the ones I kept I put in a tupperware box that is just for her special school papers. I have one just for Dakotah, too.

Mary D - You are doing a super job, keep it up! I got a tote for each one of the kids and have stuff in there from birth all the way through graduation and now am putting college things in it. They love to go in there and see what they did when they were younger. As Bailey makes her own milestones Jeremy asks - when did I start doing that? And then I go into his box and find out and tell him. It is special. When it started getting full I would go through it and have to throw away things that were similar but that I only needed one of, not one each year. That way I keep it to one tote each.

I'm so glad to see how many people use the tote idea with success. That is what I'm switching to this week--although unfortunately the only ones Walmart had at the time were HOT PINK. So my boys will have their treasures forevermore in HOT PINK file totes! ha

llamitanan - Good for you--you took time out for the Temple! Now you will definitely meet your goal. I find I accomplish a lot more in my week if going to the Temple is one of the activities.

Becky - Just kick your trash! Hee hee. I mean, don't be afraid to throw things away. The trash can is YOUR friend!

Turning over a New Leaf. . . .

I'm experiencing a very unusual situation in life right now. Three of my children are in school, one is safe in heaven, and one is comfy in my womb. This means that I have Quiet, Long days.

When school first started, this was NOT a good thing. I couldn't stand the fact that Hummer was no longer my constant companion as he had been for 5 1/2 years. (I even started bawling in the library when I saw the storytime room - pitiful). And I sorely missed Exacto and Fluffy, too.

So I mourned for a day or two, then realized that the harder I worked while they were gone, the more attention I could give them when they got home! YES! FOCUS!

That worked for a couple of weeks. Then, after Labor Day weekend, I was in sort of a lazy funk. The weather was making me SO CRANKY - with high humidity and high temperatures and trying. to. rain. but. just. not. quite. sort of weather, and then pouring for days on end, right when I want it to be cool, dry autumn like in normal places. The computer got WAY too convenient. And suddenly I realized that the boys had been in school for a MONTH and I had very little to show for it, in spite of my "quiet, long days."

Over the weekend I did a lot of thinking. The time I have right now makes me feel, in a way, very wealthy! :) I just need to be wiser in how I'm using what I've been given. So I sat down and "budgeted" how to allocate these golden hours.

Lest you busier people (which is probably all of you) start getting a little jealous. . . a lot of what needs to be done is a result of nearly two years of neglect. My life was so completely upside-down after Benjamin died, and DC was so busy just keeping his head above water with me out of commission, things have been in survival mode for a long, long time. Maybe I'll get brave and show you some "before" pictures and then some "after" pictures when I'm done!

Anyhoo, I'm starting anew, with very specific goals and even a schedule for my time during the day. I'm really grateful for a chance to get things back in order before the baby arrives.

The first deadline I've created for myself is to organize all the paper that is all over the house in bags and piles (so embarrassing to even admit this), and get a working system going. I want to complete this by General Conference (10/2), and I think I can do it in 10 hours, so I'm spending an hour a day.

If I meet the deadline, I will reward myself with THIS sweet little number from Old Navy for our baby girl:

                                               Isn't it adorable? I can't wait to put it on her!!

Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm hoping you'll be like my drill sergeants! (Nice ones, but strict ones. :)

Will you please encourage me? I'll report in periodically, and let you know how I'm doing. Even if I'm not doing well--that way you can give me a verbal kick in the pants!

And in return, I will host my Very Own Giveaway!! Wow, that makes me feel like Pioneer Woman, or something, to even type that! ha! Too bad I can't give away Kitchen Aids.

But if you leave comments on my "New Leaf" posts over the next couple of weeks, you will have a chance to win something nice. I'm not sure what yet, but very likely chocolate will be involved. :)

Benjamin's Gravemarker

Another goal I have been working on since December is to have Benjamin's gravemarker designed, ordered and installed. We were in Texas visiting Becky and Daniel this past week and missed our traditional Sunday visit. So today the boys and I went up there after school, and we were so excited to see that it has finally been installed!
They did a wonderful job, even taking care to leave the bulb flowers undisturbed and transplanting the pansies to the sides of the stone.

It feels so good to have this beautiful, permanent marker for our precious son. The pictures on it are very meaningful to me. The building is the Mesa Arizona Temple, where DC and I were married and our eternal family was begun. The engraving of Jesus holding a baby represents to me "my fondest dream", the moment when He will restore Benjamin to our arms, never again to be separated.

I believe in Christ--He stands supreme.

From Him I'll gain my fondest dream.
And while I strive through grief and pain
His voice is heard: "Ye shall obtain."

I believe in Christ; so come what may,
With Him I'll stand in that great day
When on this earth He comes again
To rule among the sons of men.

Goal Accomplished!

One of the goals I set for this year was to run a 5K by the end of March. I have been training for it since Christmas Eve, with a few setbacks here and there. Last Monday I DID IT!!! Yippee!! Dad and Joseph did it with me. DC and the boys and Mom were our cheering squad, meeting us at a couple of points along the way, giving us Gatorade, and finally holding the tape for me to break as I crossed the finish line. They were awesome.

Thanks, Dad and Joseph, for running with me!