Day 28 - { my lake isle of Inisfree }

And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow. . . ."
The Lake Isle of Inisfree, William Butler Yeats

We are at my parents' home in rural Arizona.

The boys are pretty much chained to the Foozball table, Ruby is enjoying hanging out with Dad's dachshund Molly (as long as Molly's not going for her jugular), and pretty soon all my siblings except two, and their families, will be here. It's so awesome. Family is the greatest joy.

(all pictures are from last summer)

Just being here in the desert again is bringing me great joy.

I grew up in the outskirts of Tucson, and my heart belongs to the Arizona desert. There is nothing more soothing to me than to be outside in the early morning, hearing the mourning doves coo, and feeling the cool, dry breeze, and seeing the enormous blue sky everywhere I turn.

My parents don't live in Tucson anymore, but I find that same clear open comfort here in the high desert of the White Mountains.

There's not much that ails me that being here can't cure. Or at least help! :)

Early monsoon storms

A huge variety of new and interesting snacks to soothe my ever-cranky tummy :)

Swimming with the boys in a chlorine-saturated pool, with their shrieks echoing off the stucco walls

Long conversations with Mom while she cuts up fruit for breakfast

Sitting on the enormous rock that holds Benjamin's memorial, full of peaceful, thankful thoughts tinged with tears

A warm cat on my belly while I study the scriptures

Helping my dad plant the garden, harvesting rocks and tumbleweeds first

Watching a rainstorm slowly approach from 30 miles away

If you've never been here, it's hard to describe the sheer openness. You can see the horizon in a complete circle. And then there's the intense quiet. At night, the gazillions of stars.

We've only been here a day and a half, but I can feel already the strength beginning to return to me after a difficult couple of months. I am filled with gratitude for the peace I can find here.

The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated. . . .

I'm sorry to go so long without posting! I actually have written 2 or 3 posts, then got sick and never wanted to come back to them. Silly, huh. Maybe someday. . . .

So this will be a short one, and I WILL publish it.

The days are quite hazed with green. I designed a pregnancy ticker to put on the blog, then just about passed out when I saw that there are still 214 days till Christmas. . . . It will not be installed until it shows a more manageable number. :) Grow, Baby, grow!

Guess what?

Hummer has his FIRST LOOSE TOOTH.

We discovered it tonight during FHE. He was on "Share" and couldn't find Lady the Magic Engine, which is what he wanted to share. I sat quietly, not wanting to bring up the fact that she was on top of the bookshelves because of having been used as a weapon earlier today.

Luck was with me, however, and while he was talking, I noticed that the gap between two of his bottom teeth was wider than normal, and called him over to investigate. Sure enough, one of them wiggled!

Everyone was excited, and Hummer could hardly breathe for joy when he remembered about the tooth fairy.

So why did I suddenly want to cry?

Day 27 - {christmas dreaming}

 

I'm doing my Christmas dreaming

A little early this year

No sign of snow around

And yet I go around

Hearing jingle bells ringing in my ear

 

Your promise must be the reason

The happy season is here

So I'm doing my Christmas dreaming

A little early this year

 

 

 

 

I still can hardly believe it. Of course, being green all the time does have a way of making one face reality. :) {bring it on!}

Many, many prayers of Gratitude have been offered since we found out two weeks ago! We feel so incredibly blessed.

 

Christmas can't come soon enough!

 
  

Hummer's Kindergarten Assessment

I almost forgot to take him--we were ten minutes late. He went in by himself with one of the Kindergarten teachers while I shot the breeze with a couple of other waiting people.

She came back out with him, and congratulated me: "He knows his ABC's!"

{ me thinking - yes, well, I would hope he does since he is currently reading the Magic Tree House books and doing his own scripture study. . . . :) }

but then she pointed to a highlighted part on the paper

"But he had trouble counting to 20. He kept skipping numbers. After three tries, I had to mark that one. But he should be just fine."

She sent us on our way with a nifty school-mascot tote bag.

I asked Hummer, "Don't you know how to count to 20? How did you do it for her?"

Hummer: "1, 5, 10, 15, 20"

Me: "But you were supposed to do all of the numbers up to 20."

Hummer: "That is all of them."

SIGH.

Reminds me of when Exacto came home from taking the test to be in the Gifted / Talented program for 3rd grade. When I asked him about what the test was like, he said for part of it they were supposed to draw the most creative picture they could think of.

I asked him what he drew, knowing of his startlingly innovative ideas.

He said, "The sun."

Me: "With a face or anything?"

Him: "No, just the sun."

{ me thinking GT is overrated anyway. . . .}

B-word Haircut

Hummer has informed me that "bad" is a word we're not allowed to say. Instead we say "b-word" (which in public, sounds worse! ha).

They say two weeks is enough to get used to a haircut. This one I couldn't stand when I first came home, and now it's even worse. Why, oh, why did I ever ask for bangs?

 

DC said this should be a gratitude post -- for how fast my hair grows and for how much I still have. :)

Jofus reminded me that it could be a lot worse -- this one is nowhere near as bad as Dallin's last haircut while on his mission. . . .

 

The hairdresser asked where he parted his hair. Dallin pointed, and then watched in horror as the guy took a razor and shaved it clean to the scalp! Oi, veh!

 

sniff! sniff!

Alma and Light

I read these recently during a difficult week, and was so struck and uplifted by these words from the prophet Alma. Hope you enjoy. . . .

". . . .he looketh down upon all the children of men; and he knows all the thoughts and intents of the heart; for by his hand were they all created from the beginning." (alma 18:32)

 

"And he began to cry unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, have mercy; according to thy abundant mercy which thou hast had upon the people of Nephi, have upon me, and my people." (alma 18:41)

 

"for he knew that king Lamoni was under the power of God; he knew that the dark veil of unbelief was being cast away from his mind,

and the light which did light up his mind,

. . . .the light of the glory of God

. . . .a marvelous light of his goodness—

yea, this light had infused such joy into his soul,

the cloud of darkness having been dispelled,

and that the light of everlasting life was lit up in his soul,

yea, he knew that this had overcome his natural frame, and he was carried away in God—" (alma 19:6)

"overpowered by the Spirit" (alma 19:13)

"overpowered with joy" (alma 19:14)

 Source

Eighteen Months

Today marks Benjamin's 18-month birthday. It would have been his first day in Nursery! So sweet to think about! Of course, he would be the cutest little curly headed boy ever, toddling around on chubby legs. I think he has light blue-gray eyes. . . .

And I would be sitting so comfortably in Relief Society, breathing a huge sigh of relief that I didn't have to wrassle with him all through Church anymore.

Today I'll probably sigh, but it won't be of relief. It won't be completely of sadness, either. The sadness is still potent sometimes, but it tends more towards a wistful thoughtfulness now. I feel more of the reality that I have such a beautiful son, about whom I never need to worry.

The poem I want to share for this post is one I started writing well over a year ago. I had had this powerful thought about the fact that having a piece of my heart permanently missing from earth, while painful, has the useful effect of loosening the hold this world has on me. It totally changed my perspective about the length of mortal life, and the purpose of trials.  So I wrote about it.

Today also marks my Grandpa Bailey's 91st birthday. He died just a few days after Benjamin. (My poor dad--he went from speaking at his grandson's funeral to speaking at his father's funeral only six days later!) I miss him today, too.

The sealing power of temple covenants through the Atonement of Jesus Christ is what makes experiences like these not only bearable, but cause for joy! Treasure laid up in heaven cannot rust or decay. Each painful loss here equals the deepest happiness there.

So I added to the poem about my treasured son, and revised it a few times, and here it is: :)

 

I think they've got talent!

Afore-mentioned generous neighbors lent us their video camera so that you can actually HEAR these performances. Always a plus with musical numbers. :)

Each video clip is around a minute in length. Hope you enjoy!

The lighting is a little funky, but that's probably typical of cultural hall performances, eh?