Dear Flammly,

January 8, 2023

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

This first week of 2023 has been a good one, and I am happy to have some time on this Fast Sunday to tell you about it. (It's amazing how much time is saved by not eating. . .maybe we should always not eat! jk lol)

New Year's day was quiet and simple. We went to church, then came home for snacks and a thoughtful Come, Follow Me discussion led by Exacto about how we learn and how we can know when we have found truth. He is such a good teacher! He really has a gift for engaging our interest and making us want to share our thoughts.

It was a gloomy, overcast several days. My sweet friend Danica brought over a bag of sunshine! She knows of my proneness to seasonal depression and was thinking of me. (Her husband keeps bees, and the honey is from them! So cool! And the little sun is citrus-scented. :)

We had our traditional black-eyed pea cornbread casserole (for good luck in the new year!) and collard spinach greens (for prosperity!) and started a game of Monopoly that went on till Thursday (Exacto was the only one with good luck and prosperity, haha).

Monday it was blowing snow. Exacto and Rosehips and I went on a short, frigid walk with his bow and arrows (so noble!). In the evening we had a nice FHE where we all shared stuff we were learning in our personal scripture study, then we watched How to Train Your Dragon 3 and had kettlecorn. I really liked that movie! I think it's my favorite of the three. 

Tuesday there was more snow and it was rainy/overcast all day and DC was back to work. Exacto and I still went running (woot woot!) and I went to a Young Women presidency meeting. Sushi for dinner, which we'd been craving ever since playing SushiGo! over the break. :) 

That evening Rosehips and I had a cozy Hallmark movie night at my cousin Kim's house. It was so fun! We watched Enchanted Christmas and they had set out a tv tray just for us (and one for them) so we all had easy access to yummy popcorn and lemonade. E showed us all his art work (he's so talented!) and we cracked up at C's constant replaying of the Pooh Bear song and it was really nice to just spend fun time together. Kim was always one of my favorites, growing up, and I love having her in my life again!

Wednesday the sun finally came back! We went to Five-Mile Draw to see if perhaps there would be thick enough ice for Rosehips to try out her new ice skates on, but alas, it was only sparse or thin. Exacto and Hummer explored the west side of the canyon while I talked to Fluffy and had a very happy conversation over videocall about his upcoming plans.

We had an afternoon activity for YW, since school hasn't resumed yet, and it was so fun! Just games and brainstorming for future activities, but those girls are a joy to be with and I loved getting to know some of the younger new ones better. 

Thursday we braved the chilly partly sunny day for a picnic at Pioneer Park. We brought the "wiggle sticks" along and Exacto, Hummer, and Rosehips did their amazing stuff on the basketball court (even attracting the attention of a couple walking their dog), then we read under the cottonwood trees by the stage. I'm reading Castle in the Air to them, trying to finish before Hummer heads back to school, and it is so fun! I am so glad they still want me to read to them! It's really one of my love languages. 

Friday there was another chipmunk sighting from the breakfast nook! We started eating in there because the regular table was being "monopolized" (heehee) and it's been fun to see how much wildlife we'd been missing. This chipmunk loves to perch on a particular rock and survey the landscape and he's there almost every time we have a meal. What is he looking for? 

That evening DC and I headed to the Valley for a Phoenix Symphony concert that Nana and Grandpa had invited us to. We were so excited to have the time together and to hear Mozart's 3rd violin concerto and to get more grapefruit! Alas, it was not to be. After stopping briefly in Payson to get fish and chips for dinner, we headed south on 87 for a mile or two, then were forced to pull over. The road was closed due to an accident about 6 hours earlier (shudder!). Any alternate route would have gotten us to symphony hall about when the concert was ending, so we turned around and headed home, with a small detour to get (very tall!) ice cream cones at McDonald's. :) It was disappointing to miss the concert and an opportunity to be with my parents, but we were really grateful to be safe and also to have all that time to talk and reconnect with each other!

I've been thinking about something DC shared this morning in our family scripture study. He mentioned that several people in the Matthew 1 and Luke 1-2 are told by angels to "fear not", and asked what things we are afraid of or anxious about. I shared a few things. I tend to get anxious whenever asked or assigned to do something like give a talk or a lesson -- even teaching piano lessons gives me anxiety sometimes. My biggest fears tend to be related to family members, their safety, the possible results of choices they're making, etc. You, my beloved children, are the source of my greatest joy and so also my greatest concerns! 

Then he shared these two scriptures:

2 Timothy 1:7 

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

and

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9

Fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

And so, fear not. Fear is not from God, and He will be with you, giving you power, love, and a sound mind.

Love,

Mommy

gip

Michelle

Happy New Year!

Here’s our Christmas card and the little silly insert we included. Our love and best wishes to you all!

"Dear Flammly, . . ." a letter from your devoted mother

 

Here's a flammly letter I started last fall, with the pictures I had planned to include. . . .

October 26, 2022

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

We have now had our first freeze. It was two nights ago, and we celebrated by having our Redwall Feast the following day. 

It took a full 4 hours to prepare! But how nice it was to have the oven running for so long, both ovens part of the time. Our kitchen was toasty and pleasant as we worked and as we sat down under dollar store paper lanterns and ate on our fine china. 

We were too tired and hungry to actually pull out the Redwall book that describes the feast. And a Pandora station had to suffice for the English fiddle music I had envisioned DC playing (after the 3rd time it gave us Ashokan Farewell we turned it off! lol). But it was still magical with the candlelight and such. 

Quotables

10/23
Rosehips snuggling into DC’s side of the bed… “McCleve family rule!”

10/20
I was teaching a piano lesson to my nephew A (10 years old) and we got a little off track, discussing age. . .
Me: "I’m only almost 45."
A, sweetly: "Aunt Michelle, the years have been kind to you!"

10/19
DC was putting on his winter coat for the first time. . .
Rosehips: "You're wearing your big, fat coat!
DC: "I'm putting on my fatted coat."

Rosehips is an unwilling witness to our displays of affection whenever DC gets home from work. At first she would cover her ears and shut her eyes, but that didn't always coincide with the duration of the special moment. Her new tactic? Approaching us with open arms when we embrace, saying enthusiastically, "Group kiss!"

Back to one of my happy places

Quotable:

5/8/22

We were discussing what Rosebud's new blog nickname should be, since she's probably outgrown "Rosebud."
Hummer: "How about Rosehips?"

I am happy to be back here on the blog! I almost retired it permanently for several reasons. I wasn't sure if blogging is still relevant to people in the social media age. My google account storage was full and I couldn't upload any more pictures. The computer was full. My phone was full. After the chaos of building and moving into the house, and having sons starting to grow up and leave home, I needed to decide if it was still worth the time. 

I found over the last five years that I really, really missed it! It is one of my favorite creative outlets, and I feel happier when I'm writing! Then when Fluffy was on his mission, he and Hummer started reading the archives and sharing things from them, and I could see they loved it and I wished I had continued. Even though I am a consistent journaller, this blog is also a valuable family record. So, welcome back to me! And welcome back to anyone reading this! 

Thank you, Hummer, for the gift of more google account storage, for helping me get past all the full technology, and for encouraging me to return! 

To recap briefly what has happened in the Fiddler's Flammly these last 5 years. . . 

2017-2018 

There was a desperate struggle with finances, contractors, inspectors, and mental health, but with some help from amazing and kind friends and family members we succeeded in moving into this house unfinished in April 2018. I took a class in starting an e-commerce business and ran an online shop Swallow Ridge while homeschooling Rosehips. 

2019 

My mental health struggles continued. Hummer got a bad virus towards the end of participating in the school musical and started having significant, unexplained fatigue almost continually. We welcomed Exacto home from his mission in March! He then returned to BYU in May. Fluffy graduated from Snowflake HS and left a few weeks later to serve in the North Carolina Raleigh Mission. 

2020 

My parents began serving a mission (Uruguay Montevideo Oeste) and were even able to continue remotely as the pandemic took over. Fluffy was able to stay in North Carolina. Exacto came home and spent 8 months with us here in Snowflake! We had the best summer ever, despite all the world drama. Hikes and dinners outside with my parents and "ramada church" and that lovely slower pace of life just together. . . That fall Rosehips resumed public school for 5th grade, with masks. 

2021 

My beloved Dad took on the project of installing a drip/sprinkler system in our rocky, desert yard! Fluffy came home from his mission and began university studies at BYU, rooming with Exacto. We made an epic drive across the country, visiting our old homes in Arkansas and Tallahassee, and touring Fluffy's misson. My parents returned in person to Uruguay. 

2022 

My parents finished and came home from what turned out to be 2 1/2 years of missionary service. Hummer graduated from high school (phew!), attended FSY in Thatcher, Arizona, and decided to begin college there! Rosehips started junior high. Exacto and Fluffy are still rooming together at BYU, and Exacto will graduate this December. 

The house is still quite unfinished, and Hummer and I are still experiencing our physical / mental symptoms, but I have learned so much during these years, and there is a peace now in my life that I was missing for awhile! I am looking forward to sharing some of what I have been learning, and what my plans for the future are. It's amazing how the hard things in life are exactly what propel us forward sometimes.

He took the rope they had tied him with, for Curdie's hindrances were always his furtherance. . . 

--George MacDonald, from The Princess and Curdie, chapter 16

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Hi Mommy! There is storage in your google account now so you can start doing your blog again! 

 I love you!!

-Hyrum 

10 years

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A beloved friend in Arkansas – Meghan --  sent these photos to me three days ago.

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I was glad to see that it still has the little bunny and candle lantern and bird that we had placed there on our brief visits in the past couple of years. Also some of the shiny rocks. :)

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I am so grateful that 10 years have passed. Ten years have changed the pain I felt at first – like I could cry for years and years and still have tears that needed to fall – to a deep but softened longing for the time when we’re together again. I know that in this life I always have something of greatest joy to look forward to. Someday I will hold this sweet baby boy again and get to enjoy the time of watching him grow and then a forever with our family all together.

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It’s interesting but since Exacto has been on his mission, it has felt less painful to me to not have the family together. It’s like I have two sons on missions and although I miss them both I am grateful they are where they are and doing what they’re doing, and I know the separation is temporary. For the last 10 years there has always been a gap in our family pictures and a gap in the phrase, “our whole family.” Now that gap is just a little bigger and easier to explain.

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That tree is so gorgeous right now! How grateful I am that Meghan could go take these pictures when she did. How grateful I am for a friend like her to remember me at this time! I haven’t seen her for 4 years. I know there are several dear friends back in Arkansas and also in other places who always remember. True friendship like this is precious indeed.

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So grateful for loving friends.

Grateful for a beautiful addition to our family 10 years ago.

Grateful for the Plan of Happiness that promises eternal families.

Grateful for our Savior Jesus Christ who makes it possible.

good things and what I learned - { september }

Swallow Ridge at the Beginning of September

cheesy iPhone pictures – I’ll try to get some with my big girl camera next time

What I Learned:

~ Drywall likes to go before stucco, but roofers like to go after stucco. But. . . .drywall can’t go before roofers because of the threat of rain damage. This creates a fun little catch-22 that gets subs irritated with you. I learned to just choose what seemed best to me, and darn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

~ Check all your windows with code requirements BEFORE ordering! Our inspector found 5 windows that have to be replaced with tempered glass, costing us more than $1000. 

~ It’s okay to have to reschedule people. And then reschedule them again. And then again. I was feeling like a major annoyance to my roofers – and maybe I am – but I am paying them quite a lot of money, and it is not my fault that other trades are taking longer than we thought they would. Now I try to just cheerfully call and update them. “Yes, it looks like it will actually be in another decade or so. Sorry about that!”

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~ This house still feels like an albatross when I think of the money involved. It is really hard not to get into the If-Only trap of thinking. But since I am saying what I learned . . . . I would definitely do more research on who should draw up plans. An architect would have been a much better choice for us and saved us lots of money, way more than what we “saved” by hiring a draftsman. Oh, well. Since we are ending up with a bigger, fancier house than we had set out to build, it helps me to think more of the comfort we will be able to provide to our family and visitors as well as the years of happy memories I hope we will make here. I also like thinking of all the blood, sweat, and tears we will be putting into it ourselves once drywall is done. It makes me feel all pioneerish and awesome.

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Good Things That Happened with Swallow Ridge in September:

~ Rough-in was completed for our hydronic baseboard heaters, our electrical, and our plumbing.

~ We scored a cooktop and dishwasher that will work well in our kitchen on Craigslist for $225! For both!

~ The roofers came back and fixed the dry-in with cap nails so that hopefully it doesn’t start blowing off again. I was grateful for the individualized help we received from a friend of my parents, who has retired from roofing but is expert in that field and who came and watched, making sure it got done right.

~ My mom has been a huge help translating for our stucco guy and me. Her Spanish is amazing and she is friendly to boot!, so not only are we able to communicate but she makes it fun.

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check out that Cutie in the sunset light – can’t wait to sit on our front porch together :)

~ Most of the first layer of stucco is on! Woot! It took most of the month for two workers (only :() to install the lath. But once they started putting the cement on it seemed to go much faster.

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~ My parents have some old, but solid wood salvage cabinets in storage that they are willing to give us. I will need to clean them well and refinish them but I am so happy about the money saved on cabinets. Woohoo!

~ All the exterior doors were installed without anyone getting hurt (see August’s post when it comes for an injury story). Also I never have to work with that sub again, which is a relief (just one of those personal things – some personalities are more pleasant to work with than others!).

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the result of much communication between me and multiple framers – woot!

~ Our electric company has been on the ball. They got our design approved and all the easement paperwork to us. They’re waiting on us now to get the trenching done and conduit laid (can you believe they leave that up to the homeowners? yikes). Power is scheduled to be connected on 11/4.

~ Framers came back and fixed many of the little problems still hanging on, also got it all set for drywall. They even did some of the blocking for our kitchen cabinets for free.

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looking up at that sweet chimney chase

~ Trenching was completed on the last day of September. Our backyard looks like a war zone, but it was a huge blessing that an excavator was enough to get through the solid rock – we didn’t need to use a hammer hoe, which would have cost more than double. Now what to do with the stacks of boulders sitting on what is supposed to be our backyard lawn!? lol

trench through the backyard

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Swallow Ridge at the End of September