Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Day 61 – { a baby named Benjamin }

A few weeks after our Benjamin died, I was going for a walk with my little brother Joseph L’Incroyable. I was still not even close to wrapping my head around what had just happened to me, and I had some confused notion of having another baby boy and how that would fix everything. Joseph said, “I already have a nephew named Benjamin. But when I am married I want to name my first son Benjamin.”

I said, “Well, what if your wife doesn’t want to name him that?”

He said, “Well, I’ll just have to marry someone who’s okay with that.”

This brother of mine seemed to have a knack for saying or doing just the thing to bring me comfort, especially during those first few weeks. I loved him for it, but knew that with his being only 17 at the time, a lot could happen in between, and I wouldn’t get my hopes up until I saw it happen.

Last week, it did happen.

Early Tuesday morning, a perfectly gorgeous baby boy was born into this world, named Benjamin in honor of mine.



It was such a breathtaking privilege to be invited to the birth and to be one of the first to hold him.



He is such a cute little guy!



I bought him his first BYU gear, which delighted his parents :), and wrote him a special letter.



The next morning before leaving to drive back home, I visited at the hospital again, and didn’t want to stop holding him.



It is difficult to describe the peace and happiness that I felt on this day and since. Even though this baby is my nephew and not my missing baby-- (I am definitely sane enough now to know that :)-- it is like one more portion of the hurt doesn’t hurt as much – like one more piece of my heart is healed and one more thing made right.

I wish I could explain it, but I feel so grateful for this incredible gift. And also for my long-suffering and generous DC for supporting me in being there!

100 days of gratitude tagThank You, dear Father in Heaven!


Martie said...[Reply to comment]

What a beautiful tribute.

llamitanan said...[Reply to comment]

Loved spending this special occasion with you!