Dear Flammly, our parakeet likes Enya. . .

July 9, 2023

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

Lots of work and lots of learning this week. Also lots of joy! Family members are already starting to arrive for the reunion that officially starts on Wednesday evening, and it has been fun to be with them and especially to have lots of time with Nana and Grandpa this week.

The 4th of July was full of yummy food! We went to a flag-raising by the Main Street Chapel in the morning, and then came home for freedom toast with Nana and Grandpa. (Usually we go to Show Low and do that with the Baileys there, but there was illness and we stayed in Snowflake). 

I loved working all together in our kitchen to prepare food for the cookout. Each of us chose part of it to work on, and it turned out soooo yummy! We had hot dogs with pico de gallo, coleslaw, broccoli salad, grilled veggie kabobs, root beer, mac and cheese, and homemade ice cream. The weather was weirdly hot and windy, so we ended up eating inside.

Then we went swimming, just us and Nana and Grandpa. I was trying to keep my hair dry, but the others played Monkey-in-the-Middle. 

Other highlights of the week:

Going to the temple with DC on Wednesday. It had been a while since I did an endowment session, and I learned so much and felt love from Heavenly Father so clearly! I am really grateful for a couple of things the Spirit taught me, too, that are helping me with problems I've been facing. 

A sweet little Young Women class activity at my parents' pool. Only 4 girls came, but one of their moms filled in for the other leader and I loved sitting and visiting with her while the girls swam and frolicked in the water. 

Enjoying a "Super Dad" date with my Dad (it was my Father's Day gift for him 😊). We went running on the S Trail (I was relieved it went well -- Dad just ran his 14th marathon in June and I've only been running about 20 minutes regularly!) and then we got breakfast at Cupido's. It was so fun to spend that time together! My Dad is one of my most favorite people in the world -- I feel soooo lucky to have him!

An outstanding FHE lesson from Rosehips, reading from the Book of Mormon (Alma, Amulek, Zeezrom) and sharing her thoughts and testimony and watching the video to go with it. The Spirit was strong! It was so awesome!

Having our traditional post-haircut root beer floats on the front porch in the windy heat.

A moonlight walk with Ham. He's been on such a late schedule -- he was literally nocturnal for the last part of the semester, and is still having trouble getting to sleep before the wee sma's. I took a nap that day so I could stay up late with him and talk when he was feeling awake. The full moon on the desert landscape after a long, hot day is a breathtaking, unforgettable thing.

Running with Exacto. Yesterday we did about 3 1/2 miles and he told me about the Navajo creation story and also how the stars were placed so randomly over the sky. He took Navajo during his last semester at BYU and really enjoys learning more about that culture and its history. 

Watching My Hero Academia with Ham. Not sure how much DC likes it, especially since he's on a super early schedule and is always falling asleep by the time we start watching, but it's still bonding time for the flammly, I guess! 😪😂

Progress on the basement bedroom project. Drywall was finished this week, then painting, then the flooring got started yesterday. We've been hoping to use the room for people to stay in during the reunion, but we'll see! 🤞

Rosehips helping me make a busload of whole-wheat pancakes for the reunion (multiplied this recipe times 17!). And practicing our duets together for the flammly recital. 

Dinner at the ramada with about half the Bailey family, including my sweet brother and his family here from Wisconsin! I loved pushing little 3yo H on the swing. He's a smart cookie and we talked about all the things we could see from there. Last night we had dinner at Streets on Main and it was so yummy and fun. We came home and had s'mores (or just a couple of sugar-free marshmallows, in my case) by the fire pit. 

Yesterday I had a migraine and spent most of the day in bed. (That was not a highlight, btw.)

I have been reaching for heaven a lot, needing help with knowing how to be a parent to adult children. I realized this week that I have been trying to coach--or even manage--their choices way too much. These grown-up sons of mine are smart and they are good! I love the people they have become and are still becoming! And they were God's children before they were ever mine. He is totally aware of what experiences they need and what choices they are making, and He loves them even more completely than I do (that part is hard to imagine). 

I just get to keep loving them and cheering them on. I have had a couple of ideas come to me of things I can do that would be good in supporting them. But mostly I need to watch and love, not judge, pray hard, and then let Him work in their lives as they choose to let Him. 

E, F, and H, if y'all ever do want advice about anything, you can ask! 😅 And I am always here for you with love. Always.

A quote from C.S. Lewis this time. I just finished reading his Letters to Children, which I highly recommend. Such a lovely peek into his life and mind!

This is from just a few weeks before his death, in November 1963:

Dear Ruth. . . ,

    Many thanks for your kind letter, and it was very good of you to write and tell me that you like my books; and what a very good letter you write for your age!

    If you continue to love Jesus, nothing much can go wrong with you, and I hope you may always do so. I'm so thankful that you realized [the] "hidden story" in the Narnian books. It is odd, children nearly always do, grown-ups hardly ever.

I love that -- "If you continue to love Jesus, nothing much can go wrong with you, and I hope you may always do so." 

He is so good! I love Him with all my heart for His watchful care over me and all the good things in my life.

Love to each of you,

Mommy

P.S. Another letter excerpt that made me giggle:

Dear Martin,

    Thanks for your letter of the 15th. You don't tell me how your sister is; be sure to mention this the next time you write. I think your proposed metre is far too rollicking and comic for any original in so solemn a metre as the Virgilian hexameter. To such a time as yours I would put only works like

    "A pound of that cheese and an ounce of the butter," Aeneas replied with his usual stutter.

Makes me think of the poem ChatGPT wrote for your prompt "Tell about a pingpong match in the style of the Iliad." 😆

P.P.S. This afternoon after church, Johann was shrieking relentlessly for no apparent reason. I was about to cause another "solar eclipse" (this is when the parakeets get temporarily banished to the bathroom with the door shut), but Exacto turned on some Enya for him and he switched to warbling! This song seemed to work the best (Orinoco Flow was maybe too rhythmic and he fell out of his trance). . .

!Querida Flammilia, Hoy tenemos tortas!

July 2, 2023

Fast Sunday

Snowflake, Arizona

Querida flammilia y amigos,

It has been such a nice week, with the Baker family reunion at the beginning of it, and Independence Day celebrating at the end of it, and a quick trip to the Valley in between!

DC was in charge of the reunion this year, and it was so nice to have it close to where we live. We stayed at the absolutely lovely Lazy Oaks Resort on Rainbow Lake in Pinetop-Lakeside. We each had our own little cabin (ours was the Poplars), and there was a grassy shaded area with picnic tables and a swing where we could gather all together for meals and evening stuff. There was access to kayaks and life jackets, and that was my favorite part, I think, just going out on the lake and seeing all the birds -- swallows and cormorants and herons and eagles. 

Exacto, Fluffy, and Rosehips all went on the lake early Monday morning and saw herons skydiving into the water to catch fish! Hummer and a cousin kayaked out to the middle where a dead tree poked up out of the lake and they took turns climbing it and not dropping their phones in the lake! (I DID drop my phone in the lake and it's okay now. . . do you want to hear the story?)

Rosehips and I went on a long, long kayaking trip and had the best heart-to-heart talk on the way and the n the toughest time getting back because the wind had come up and there were pretty high wave peaks. We were so strong! We made it eventually! 

I love DC's family. We have been married longer than anyone else in the family except Grandma and Grandpa Baker, and since I was married at the shockingly young age of 19, I've kind of grown up with his family, too. They are a down-to-earth, funny, creative, loving, widely varied, really kind bunch of people, and I'm happy to be part of them! 

Breakfasts and lunches were mostly on our own in our own little cabins, but dinners were together and the older cousins loved to stay up late playing games together. One of my brothers-in-law brought a screen and a projector, so there was also a family history slideshow and a special video celebrating Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary (happened 3 years ago during covid so we still hadn't really celebrated together).

I loved that we still had a group scripture study every night with the ones who wanted to join and the ones who didn't want were not pressured or made to feel bad, just invited. I loved that some went on the little hike together and some didn't but everyone wanted to be at the slideshow and special video. I loved hearing my sister-in-law of another faith pray like Jesus was standing right in front of her. I loved talking to my beautiful Italian sister-in-law who was just baptized a few years ago about her love for the temple. There's just a strong feeling of acceptance and real joy in being together, despite different choices family members have made. 

Wednesday morning we had the extended goodbyes that is traditional in DC's family. There's an unwritten rule that you can't leave until you have hugged every single person and talked to them individually, and it's the sweetest thing but it takes forever and I'm the type of person who hates saying goodbye so it just feels like slowly pulling duct tape off my arm but I know it's because they love each other and me so I try to calm down and just feel the love, lol!

So grateful everyone had a happy time and all the travel went safely and that we got to be together again!

Friday I went with Ham and Exacto to The Great Valley so that H could have a therapy appointment. I am so, so glad he's trying to take care of his health! It's been a tough year for him so far. We got yummy Salad-and-Go and went to Hobby Lobby before heading back up the mountain, and H and I enjoyed some crocheting on the way back (he started a harness for Arthur 🐇 and I started my first amigumuri project) while Exacto drove. It was fun to read out loud lots of  The Year of Miss Agnes, too. 

Yesterday it was nice to be home and finally get more work done on planning the food for my family's reunion which starts in less than two weeks! 😨 And then in the evening we went to the Taylor Rodeo. Nana says her Daddy used to take her and her sisters every year, after buying them new Wranglers at the store. She loves going, and even invited us to come early to save our seats and watch people. 

I was a little hesitant because ever since the pandemic and the political ugliness that began around that time, I've been a little afraid to be at a rodeo. But I wanted to spend time with my Mom and I knew it was important to her, so I went, and I'm so glad! It was delightful! It never got too political and the rodeo events were really cool (there was a new breakaway women's calf-roping event I'd never seen before) and it was the most love I have felt for my country in a long time. 

I've always been patriotic, but the word had started to take on a disagreeable tinge over the past few years and I think I'd started to forget its true meaning. Last night as I pledged allegiance and sang the national anthem with 9000 people and then watched the fireworks and sang I'm Proud to Be An American, my heart felt full of gratitude and love for this truly amazing country I was lucky enough to be born into. And then the next song was I Love You, Arizona and I got super teary! 

Dad and DC brought us ham tortas from Cupidos, and we sat near some people from Tucson that were super nice and fun to talk to (we cheered for the cowboy from Marana together!) and Ham got excited about the macarena song because it sounded like everyone was singing about cicadas, lol (Pacarina shoemakeri).

I am thoughtful this morning about influence and agency and parenting and "the joy of the saints." 

As a disciple of Jesus and a mother, how do I "feed His sheep" if the sheep maybe doesn't want to be fed? 

I have a new perspective on that after DC sharing some of his thoughts this morning. He said "feed His sheep" makes him think of the tree in Lehi's dream. The tree had shining, white fruit, and represented the love of God. We can eat the fruit and experience the love of God and invite our family and friends to do that, too. We can share the love of God ourselves! Maybe others can feel His love through us, and that is feeding His sheep!

And I looked and beheld the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms.

And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.

~ 1 Nephi 11:20-23

And so, please always remember: 

👉You are most likely to be happy when you are living by the teachings of Jesus Christ! 

Live His gospel and have fun, too!

Love,

Mommy

Dear Flammly,

January 8, 2023

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

This first week of 2023 has been a good one, and I am happy to have some time on this Fast Sunday to tell you about it. (It's amazing how much time is saved by not eating. . .maybe we should always not eat! jk lol)

New Year's day was quiet and simple. We went to church, then came home for snacks and a thoughtful Come, Follow Me discussion led by Exacto about how we learn and how we can know when we have found truth. He is such a good teacher! He really has a gift for engaging our interest and making us want to share our thoughts.

It was a gloomy, overcast several days. My sweet friend Danica brought over a bag of sunshine! She knows of my proneness to seasonal depression and was thinking of me. (Her husband keeps bees, and the honey is from them! So cool! And the little sun is citrus-scented. :)

We had our traditional black-eyed pea cornbread casserole (for good luck in the new year!) and collard spinach greens (for prosperity!) and started a game of Monopoly that went on till Thursday (Exacto was the only one with good luck and prosperity, haha).

Monday it was blowing snow. Exacto and Rosehips and I went on a short, frigid walk with his bow and arrows (so noble!). In the evening we had a nice FHE where we all shared stuff we were learning in our personal scripture study, then we watched How to Train Your Dragon 3 and had kettlecorn. I really liked that movie! I think it's my favorite of the three. 

Tuesday there was more snow and it was rainy/overcast all day and DC was back to work. Exacto and I still went running (woot woot!) and I went to a Young Women presidency meeting. Sushi for dinner, which we'd been craving ever since playing SushiGo! over the break. :) 

That evening Rosehips and I had a cozy Hallmark movie night at my cousin Kim's house. It was so fun! We watched Enchanted Christmas and they had set out a tv tray just for us (and one for them) so we all had easy access to yummy popcorn and lemonade. E showed us all his art work (he's so talented!) and we cracked up at C's constant replaying of the Pooh Bear song and it was really nice to just spend fun time together. Kim was always one of my favorites, growing up, and I love having her in my life again!

Wednesday the sun finally came back! We went to Five-Mile Draw to see if perhaps there would be thick enough ice for Rosehips to try out her new ice skates on, but alas, it was only sparse or thin. Exacto and Hummer explored the west side of the canyon while I talked to Fluffy and had a very happy conversation over videocall about his upcoming plans.

We had an afternoon activity for YW, since school hasn't resumed yet, and it was so fun! Just games and brainstorming for future activities, but those girls are a joy to be with and I loved getting to know some of the younger new ones better. 

Thursday we braved the chilly partly sunny day for a picnic at Pioneer Park. We brought the "wiggle sticks" along and Exacto, Hummer, and Rosehips did their amazing stuff on the basketball court (even attracting the attention of a couple walking their dog), then we read under the cottonwood trees by the stage. I'm reading Castle in the Air to them, trying to finish before Hummer heads back to school, and it is so fun! I am so glad they still want me to read to them! It's really one of my love languages. 

Friday there was another chipmunk sighting from the breakfast nook! We started eating in there because the regular table was being "monopolized" (heehee) and it's been fun to see how much wildlife we'd been missing. This chipmunk loves to perch on a particular rock and survey the landscape and he's there almost every time we have a meal. What is he looking for? 

That evening DC and I headed to the Valley for a Phoenix Symphony concert that Nana and Grandpa had invited us to. We were so excited to have the time together and to hear Mozart's 3rd violin concerto and to get more grapefruit! Alas, it was not to be. After stopping briefly in Payson to get fish and chips for dinner, we headed south on 87 for a mile or two, then were forced to pull over. The road was closed due to an accident about 6 hours earlier (shudder!). Any alternate route would have gotten us to symphony hall about when the concert was ending, so we turned around and headed home, with a small detour to get (very tall!) ice cream cones at McDonald's. :) It was disappointing to miss the concert and an opportunity to be with my parents, but we were really grateful to be safe and also to have all that time to talk and reconnect with each other!

I've been thinking about something DC shared this morning in our family scripture study. He mentioned that several people in the Matthew 1 and Luke 1-2 are told by angels to "fear not", and asked what things we are afraid of or anxious about. I shared a few things. I tend to get anxious whenever asked or assigned to do something like give a talk or a lesson -- even teaching piano lessons gives me anxiety sometimes. My biggest fears tend to be related to family members, their safety, the possible results of choices they're making, etc. You, my beloved children, are the source of my greatest joy and so also my greatest concerns! 

Then he shared these two scriptures:

2 Timothy 1:7 

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind

and

Doctrine and Covenants 122:9

Fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

And so, fear not. Fear is not from God, and He will be with you, giving you power, love, and a sound mind.

Love,

Mommy

gip

Michelle

Happy New Year!

Here’s our Christmas card and the little silly insert we included. Our love and best wishes to you all!

"Dear Flammly, . . ." a letter from your devoted mother

 

Here's a flammly letter I started last fall, with the pictures I had planned to include. . . .

October 26, 2022

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

We have now had our first freeze. It was two nights ago, and we celebrated by having our Redwall Feast the following day. 

It took a full 4 hours to prepare! But how nice it was to have the oven running for so long, both ovens part of the time. Our kitchen was toasty and pleasant as we worked and as we sat down under dollar store paper lanterns and ate on our fine china. 

We were too tired and hungry to actually pull out the Redwall book that describes the feast. And a Pandora station had to suffice for the English fiddle music I had envisioned DC playing (after the 3rd time it gave us Ashokan Farewell we turned it off! lol). But it was still magical with the candlelight and such. 

Quotables

10/23
Rosehips snuggling into DC’s side of the bed… “McCleve family rule!”

10/20
I was teaching a piano lesson to my nephew A (10 years old) and we got a little off track, discussing age. . .
Me: "I’m only almost 45."
A, sweetly: "Aunt Michelle, the years have been kind to you!"

10/19
DC was putting on his winter coat for the first time. . .
Rosehips: "You're wearing your big, fat coat!
DC: "I'm putting on my fatted coat."

Rosehips is an unwilling witness to our displays of affection whenever DC gets home from work. At first she would cover her ears and shut her eyes, but that didn't always coincide with the duration of the special moment. Her new tactic? Approaching us with open arms when we embrace, saying enthusiastically, "Group kiss!"

Back to one of my happy places

Quotable:

5/8/22

We were discussing what Rosebud's new blog nickname should be, since she's probably outgrown "Rosebud."
Hummer: "How about Rosehips?"

I am happy to be back here on the blog! I almost retired it permanently for several reasons. I wasn't sure if blogging is still relevant to people in the social media age. My google account storage was full and I couldn't upload any more pictures. The computer was full. My phone was full. After the chaos of building and moving into the house, and having sons starting to grow up and leave home, I needed to decide if it was still worth the time. 

I found over the last five years that I really, really missed it! It is one of my favorite creative outlets, and I feel happier when I'm writing! Then when Fluffy was on his mission, he and Hummer started reading the archives and sharing things from them, and I could see they loved it and I wished I had continued. Even though I am a consistent journaller, this blog is also a valuable family record. So, welcome back to me! And welcome back to anyone reading this! 

Thank you, Hummer, for the gift of more google account storage, for helping me get past all the full technology, and for encouraging me to return! 

To recap briefly what has happened in the Fiddler's Flammly these last 5 years. . . 

2017-2018 

There was a desperate struggle with finances, contractors, inspectors, and mental health, but with some help from amazing and kind friends and family members we succeeded in moving into this house unfinished in April 2018. I took a class in starting an e-commerce business and ran an online shop Swallow Ridge while homeschooling Rosehips. 

2019 

My mental health struggles continued. Hummer got a bad virus towards the end of participating in the school musical and started having significant, unexplained fatigue almost continually. We welcomed Exacto home from his mission in March! He then returned to BYU in May. Fluffy graduated from Snowflake HS and left a few weeks later to serve in the North Carolina Raleigh Mission. 

2020 

My parents began serving a mission (Uruguay Montevideo Oeste) and were even able to continue remotely as the pandemic took over. Fluffy was able to stay in North Carolina. Exacto came home and spent 8 months with us here in Snowflake! We had the best summer ever, despite all the world drama. Hikes and dinners outside with my parents and "ramada church" and that lovely slower pace of life just together. . . That fall Rosehips resumed public school for 5th grade, with masks. 

2021 

My beloved Dad took on the project of installing a drip/sprinkler system in our rocky, desert yard! Fluffy came home from his mission and began university studies at BYU, rooming with Exacto. We made an epic drive across the country, visiting our old homes in Arkansas and Tallahassee, and touring Fluffy's misson. My parents returned in person to Uruguay. 

2022 

My parents finished and came home from what turned out to be 2 1/2 years of missionary service. Hummer graduated from high school (phew!), attended FSY in Thatcher, Arizona, and decided to begin college there! Rosehips started junior high. Exacto and Fluffy are still rooming together at BYU, and Exacto will graduate this December. 

The house is still quite unfinished, and Hummer and I are still experiencing our physical / mental symptoms, but I have learned so much during these years, and there is a peace now in my life that I was missing for awhile! I am looking forward to sharing some of what I have been learning, and what my plans for the future are. It's amazing how the hard things in life are exactly what propel us forward sometimes.

He took the rope they had tied him with, for Curdie's hindrances were always his furtherance. . . 

--George MacDonald, from The Princess and Curdie, chapter 16

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Hi Mommy! There is storage in your google account now so you can start doing your blog again! 

 I love you!!

-Hyrum