Dear Flammly, our parakeet likes Enya. . .

July 9, 2023

Snowflake, Arizona

Dear Flammly,

Lots of work and lots of learning this week. Also lots of joy! Family members are already starting to arrive for the reunion that officially starts on Wednesday evening, and it has been fun to be with them and especially to have lots of time with Nana and Grandpa this week.

The 4th of July was full of yummy food! We went to a flag-raising by the Main Street Chapel in the morning, and then came home for freedom toast with Nana and Grandpa. (Usually we go to Show Low and do that with the Baileys there, but there was illness and we stayed in Snowflake). 

I loved working all together in our kitchen to prepare food for the cookout. Each of us chose part of it to work on, and it turned out soooo yummy! We had hot dogs with pico de gallo, coleslaw, broccoli salad, grilled veggie kabobs, root beer, mac and cheese, and homemade ice cream. The weather was weirdly hot and windy, so we ended up eating inside.

Then we went swimming, just us and Nana and Grandpa. I was trying to keep my hair dry, but the others played Monkey-in-the-Middle. 

Other highlights of the week:

Going to the temple with DC on Wednesday. It had been a while since I did an endowment session, and I learned so much and felt love from Heavenly Father so clearly! I am really grateful for a couple of things the Spirit taught me, too, that are helping me with problems I've been facing. 

A sweet little Young Women class activity at my parents' pool. Only 4 girls came, but one of their moms filled in for the other leader and I loved sitting and visiting with her while the girls swam and frolicked in the water. 

Enjoying a "Super Dad" date with my Dad (it was my Father's Day gift for him 😊). We went running on the S Trail (I was relieved it went well -- Dad just ran his 14th marathon in June and I've only been running about 20 minutes regularly!) and then we got breakfast at Cupido's. It was so fun to spend that time together! My Dad is one of my most favorite people in the world -- I feel soooo lucky to have him!

An outstanding FHE lesson from Rosehips, reading from the Book of Mormon (Alma, Amulek, Zeezrom) and sharing her thoughts and testimony and watching the video to go with it. The Spirit was strong! It was so awesome!

Having our traditional post-haircut root beer floats on the front porch in the windy heat.

A moonlight walk with Ham. He's been on such a late schedule -- he was literally nocturnal for the last part of the semester, and is still having trouble getting to sleep before the wee sma's. I took a nap that day so I could stay up late with him and talk when he was feeling awake. The full moon on the desert landscape after a long, hot day is a breathtaking, unforgettable thing.

Running with Exacto. Yesterday we did about 3 1/2 miles and he told me about the Navajo creation story and also how the stars were placed so randomly over the sky. He took Navajo during his last semester at BYU and really enjoys learning more about that culture and its history. 

Watching My Hero Academia with Ham. Not sure how much DC likes it, especially since he's on a super early schedule and is always falling asleep by the time we start watching, but it's still bonding time for the flammly, I guess! 😪😂

Progress on the basement bedroom project. Drywall was finished this week, then painting, then the flooring got started yesterday. We've been hoping to use the room for people to stay in during the reunion, but we'll see! 🤞

Rosehips helping me make a busload of whole-wheat pancakes for the reunion (multiplied this recipe times 17!). And practicing our duets together for the flammly recital. 

Dinner at the ramada with about half the Bailey family, including my sweet brother and his family here from Wisconsin! I loved pushing little 3yo H on the swing. He's a smart cookie and we talked about all the things we could see from there. Last night we had dinner at Streets on Main and it was so yummy and fun. We came home and had s'mores (or just a couple of sugar-free marshmallows, in my case) by the fire pit. 

Yesterday I had a migraine and spent most of the day in bed. (That was not a highlight, btw.)

I have been reaching for heaven a lot, needing help with knowing how to be a parent to adult children. I realized this week that I have been trying to coach--or even manage--their choices way too much. These grown-up sons of mine are smart and they are good! I love the people they have become and are still becoming! And they were God's children before they were ever mine. He is totally aware of what experiences they need and what choices they are making, and He loves them even more completely than I do (that part is hard to imagine). 

I just get to keep loving them and cheering them on. I have had a couple of ideas come to me of things I can do that would be good in supporting them. But mostly I need to watch and love, not judge, pray hard, and then let Him work in their lives as they choose to let Him. 

E, F, and H, if y'all ever do want advice about anything, you can ask! 😅 And I am always here for you with love. Always.

A quote from C.S. Lewis this time. I just finished reading his Letters to Children, which I highly recommend. Such a lovely peek into his life and mind!

This is from just a few weeks before his death, in November 1963:

Dear Ruth. . . ,

    Many thanks for your kind letter, and it was very good of you to write and tell me that you like my books; and what a very good letter you write for your age!

    If you continue to love Jesus, nothing much can go wrong with you, and I hope you may always do so. I'm so thankful that you realized [the] "hidden story" in the Narnian books. It is odd, children nearly always do, grown-ups hardly ever.

I love that -- "If you continue to love Jesus, nothing much can go wrong with you, and I hope you may always do so." 

He is so good! I love Him with all my heart for His watchful care over me and all the good things in my life.

Love to each of you,

Mommy

P.S. Another letter excerpt that made me giggle:

Dear Martin,

    Thanks for your letter of the 15th. You don't tell me how your sister is; be sure to mention this the next time you write. I think your proposed metre is far too rollicking and comic for any original in so solemn a metre as the Virgilian hexameter. To such a time as yours I would put only works like

    "A pound of that cheese and an ounce of the butter," Aeneas replied with his usual stutter.

Makes me think of the poem ChatGPT wrote for your prompt "Tell about a pingpong match in the style of the Iliad." 😆

P.P.S. This afternoon after church, Johann was shrieking relentlessly for no apparent reason. I was about to cause another "solar eclipse" (this is when the parakeets get temporarily banished to the bathroom with the door shut), but Exacto turned on some Enya for him and he switched to warbling! This song seemed to work the best (Orinoco Flow was maybe too rhythmic and he fell out of his trance). . .

!Querida Flammilia, Hoy tenemos tortas!

July 2, 2023

Fast Sunday

Snowflake, Arizona

Querida flammilia y amigos,

It has been such a nice week, with the Baker family reunion at the beginning of it, and Independence Day celebrating at the end of it, and a quick trip to the Valley in between!

DC was in charge of the reunion this year, and it was so nice to have it close to where we live. We stayed at the absolutely lovely Lazy Oaks Resort on Rainbow Lake in Pinetop-Lakeside. We each had our own little cabin (ours was the Poplars), and there was a grassy shaded area with picnic tables and a swing where we could gather all together for meals and evening stuff. There was access to kayaks and life jackets, and that was my favorite part, I think, just going out on the lake and seeing all the birds -- swallows and cormorants and herons and eagles. 

Exacto, Fluffy, and Rosehips all went on the lake early Monday morning and saw herons skydiving into the water to catch fish! Hummer and a cousin kayaked out to the middle where a dead tree poked up out of the lake and they took turns climbing it and not dropping their phones in the lake! (I DID drop my phone in the lake and it's okay now. . . do you want to hear the story?)

Rosehips and I went on a long, long kayaking trip and had the best heart-to-heart talk on the way and the n the toughest time getting back because the wind had come up and there were pretty high wave peaks. We were so strong! We made it eventually! 

I love DC's family. We have been married longer than anyone else in the family except Grandma and Grandpa Baker, and since I was married at the shockingly young age of 19, I've kind of grown up with his family, too. They are a down-to-earth, funny, creative, loving, widely varied, really kind bunch of people, and I'm happy to be part of them! 

Breakfasts and lunches were mostly on our own in our own little cabins, but dinners were together and the older cousins loved to stay up late playing games together. One of my brothers-in-law brought a screen and a projector, so there was also a family history slideshow and a special video celebrating Grandma and Grandpa's 50th wedding anniversary (happened 3 years ago during covid so we still hadn't really celebrated together).

I loved that we still had a group scripture study every night with the ones who wanted to join and the ones who didn't want were not pressured or made to feel bad, just invited. I loved that some went on the little hike together and some didn't but everyone wanted to be at the slideshow and special video. I loved hearing my sister-in-law of another faith pray like Jesus was standing right in front of her. I loved talking to my beautiful Italian sister-in-law who was just baptized a few years ago about her love for the temple. There's just a strong feeling of acceptance and real joy in being together, despite different choices family members have made. 

Wednesday morning we had the extended goodbyes that is traditional in DC's family. There's an unwritten rule that you can't leave until you have hugged every single person and talked to them individually, and it's the sweetest thing but it takes forever and I'm the type of person who hates saying goodbye so it just feels like slowly pulling duct tape off my arm but I know it's because they love each other and me so I try to calm down and just feel the love, lol!

So grateful everyone had a happy time and all the travel went safely and that we got to be together again!

Friday I went with Ham and Exacto to The Great Valley so that H could have a therapy appointment. I am so, so glad he's trying to take care of his health! It's been a tough year for him so far. We got yummy Salad-and-Go and went to Hobby Lobby before heading back up the mountain, and H and I enjoyed some crocheting on the way back (he started a harness for Arthur 🐇 and I started my first amigumuri project) while Exacto drove. It was fun to read out loud lots of  The Year of Miss Agnes, too. 

Yesterday it was nice to be home and finally get more work done on planning the food for my family's reunion which starts in less than two weeks! 😨 And then in the evening we went to the Taylor Rodeo. Nana says her Daddy used to take her and her sisters every year, after buying them new Wranglers at the store. She loves going, and even invited us to come early to save our seats and watch people. 

I was a little hesitant because ever since the pandemic and the political ugliness that began around that time, I've been a little afraid to be at a rodeo. But I wanted to spend time with my Mom and I knew it was important to her, so I went, and I'm so glad! It was delightful! It never got too political and the rodeo events were really cool (there was a new breakaway women's calf-roping event I'd never seen before) and it was the most love I have felt for my country in a long time. 

I've always been patriotic, but the word had started to take on a disagreeable tinge over the past few years and I think I'd started to forget its true meaning. Last night as I pledged allegiance and sang the national anthem with 9000 people and then watched the fireworks and sang I'm Proud to Be An American, my heart felt full of gratitude and love for this truly amazing country I was lucky enough to be born into. And then the next song was I Love You, Arizona and I got super teary! 

Dad and DC brought us ham tortas from Cupidos, and we sat near some people from Tucson that were super nice and fun to talk to (we cheered for the cowboy from Marana together!) and Ham got excited about the macarena song because it sounded like everyone was singing about cicadas, lol (Pacarina shoemakeri).

I am thoughtful this morning about influence and agency and parenting and "the joy of the saints." 

As a disciple of Jesus and a mother, how do I "feed His sheep" if the sheep maybe doesn't want to be fed? 

I have a new perspective on that after DC sharing some of his thoughts this morning. He said "feed His sheep" makes him think of the tree in Lehi's dream. The tree had shining, white fruit, and represented the love of God. We can eat the fruit and experience the love of God and invite our family and friends to do that, too. We can share the love of God ourselves! Maybe others can feel His love through us, and that is feeding His sheep!

And I looked and beheld the virgin again, bearing a child in her arms.

And the angel said unto me: Behold the Lamb of God, yea, even the Son of the Eternal Father! Knowest thou the meaning of the tree which thy father saw?

And I answered him, saying: Yea, it is the love of God, which sheddeth itself abroad in the hearts of the children of men; wherefore, it is the most desirable above all things.

And he spake unto me, saying: Yea, and the most joyous to the soul.

~ 1 Nephi 11:20-23

And so, please always remember: 

👉You are most likely to be happy when you are living by the teachings of Jesus Christ! 

Live His gospel and have fun, too!

Love,

Mommy